"To die with ducks is to suffer a sad and smelly death." - Delicate Red Flower

So like, here we are, eh?

It's cold outside. It's cold inside too. It's one of those days when the central heating just can't get its act together.

Insightful comment of the day - "We are heading for exciting times. Will 2005 be 'the year of wireless?'" No. Of course not. It's only the one thing that the entire communications industry has been working towards since 2002.

I think I'm getting bitter and cynical.

So, I have decided to do one non-cynical/bitter thing every day. Today I surfed for Valentine e-cards. If I have to see one more pink card of teddy bears hugging each other, I will violently vomit on my new laptop. And wot is with the music?! Who gives these people permission to litter the Internet with mindless junk?! Er. This is a blog. Right. Nevermind.

Hey. At least I tried.

I used to think that blogs are a sheer and utter waste of time and bandwidth. I still do. But hey, it's better than staring at the ducks all day. And I have to say, the prospect of editing HTML does excite me a little.

Let me tell you about these ducks. So like, our flat overlooks this lake-type thing, right? And in this supposed lake, there are ducks. And they're noisy birds. More so in the summer but sometimes you can hear them peep in the winter. And most days when I don't have much to do, I sit here, in the living room, surrounded by my geek mags, cooking up ways to rid the community of these birds. Here's the best one I've come up with so far - break up little alka seltzer tablets, sneak down in the dead of the night (obviously wearing a black turtleneck and a ski mask), feed said tablets to birds, sneak back into bed and wait for the fun to start. The day progresses. They drink water. The tablets start to fizz inside their bellies. Eventually, the gas pressure increases to such an extent that they explode. Boom. Duck sauce. This is all based on the assumption that ducks can't burp. (Someone told me that once and it stuck. Of course, I couldn't be bothered to actually look it up to validate this. Still there it is.) I think it's a lovely idea.