Tuesday, January 24, 2006

On a lighter note

You could always go out and get falling-down drunk with Dr. Pencil and his cronies and dance like a deranged Tamilian dripping with flammable hair oil. That is almost always guaranteed to make you feel better.

Between us mouses

There is a compelling issue, well two compelling issues, that bring me out of MBA-imposed blog silence.

The first one is all this feedback from the masses having an overwhelming sense that life doesn't get any better. Than, you know, now. Status quo is all there is. You've gotten yourself into this mess and you can never get out of it. The quagmire of your decisions will drag you down until you succumb and then you will join the rest of the numb-skulled zombies at the bottom of the pit. (Speaking of pits, I saw Kill Bill 2 this morning and I would not want to be buried alive ever.) This is a vastly popular and, in my opinion, extremely detrimental outlook. It is not the quagmire of thine decisions that will drag you down. It's the quagmire of thine attitudes. It can make you or break you.

People worry about a lot of things. Some people worry about dying. Some worry about the costs of healthcare for loved ones. Some worry about the color of their skin and the curve of their hip. And some people worry about what would happen if the world found out what they're really like. People worry because of the lack of something. They lack what they deem important that inhibits them from acquiring something. No money for drugs. Too much pigmentation. Too many pounds. Too little love. If you look at it objectively, at the end of the day, that's wot people worry about. Things they don't have that will lead to them not having more... things. Objects. States. Status. Feelings even.

There are some people who don't worry a lot. Em calls it 'taking it easy'. I call it stopping to smell the roses (there is a popular school of thought that suggests that stopping to smell the roses actually refers to taking time out of busy lives to take stock of the important things but in my book, if you're stopping to smell the roses, there is no way you're not letting the happy tonins affect you). I think Asians are engineered to believe that happiness is directly related to fate and if it's not written in your fate by the Big Man in the Sky then you will not be happy. And then there is the other popular (and also scientific) sentiment that depression is a chemical imbalance. Somewhere in the middle lies my belief. Let me explain.

I think depression happens when your worry (defined above) is so great that the analytical side of your brain packs its culottes and goes on a beach vacation letting the dark side take over. That's the side that is so firmly convinced that a) there is a problem, b) the problem is too big to solve and therefore, c) we must worry some more about it thereby, d) plunging ourselves into deeper depression. I think that all of the above fundamental aspects need to exist for their to be depression. And conversely, I also think that if you remove any one aspect, the depression will be lifted.

Exit strategies like absconding, relocation, suicide, dropping out, cutting off and breaking down are options for those that hit the intolerance point. The intolerance point is the point you reach when you've convinced yourself that your life (or lack thereof) will be better (or alternatively, happiness will be achieved) if one or more of these strategies are adopted.

This is a very popular yet misleading view. Let me tell you why.

If there is no post-exit strategy life, then the point is moot. I am of the school of thought that there is no consciousness after death so don't talk to me about heaven and hell.

If there is post-exit strategy life, it will be of one much like a diabetic patient. You're gonna need a regular dose of insulin to keep alive because your body cannot produce it by itself. So in your case, your body doesn't produce enough of whatever combination of seratonin and wotever else is needed to feel good. That could be because you have a chemical imbalance but could it also be because you don't want to. Be happy. Because you don't know how. Because its too much work. Because you don't even know that you don't want to. Can't solve a problem if you don't know what it is.

And I think that's where we lose. We mostly don't know what the problem is. So we go forth blundering into the void trying not to bump into anything so solid that, at best slows you down and at worst causes you to fall. This is why I think we're unhappy.

So wot's the answer? The key to happiness, the Holy Grail? No fucking clue. But I know I want more of it. Maybe I'll try getting rid of one or more Fundamental Aspects. Maybe that'll work. I'll give it a shot and let you know how it turns out.

And now, I must wake up Claudia and go to class and learn about Consumer Behavior.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Hard-earned satisfaction? You betcha!

Some experts believe the dual degree pads your résumé and wallet. Shawn Graham, associate director of MBA Career Services at Kenan-Flagler, says increased negotiating power is another benefit to having a dual degree. Though there isn't information indicating that dual-degree earners have higher starting salaries than single MBAs, Graham knows that at least one Kenan-Flagler JD/MBA used his dual degree to convince his employer to top his original salary offer.

A dual degree can show a job candidate is dedicated, driven, and smart. Having a joint degree is proof of intellectual curiosity, says George Meng, Microsoft's (MSFT ) director of college and MBA staffing. "Since joint-degree programs are rigorous, a dual degree may be indicative of a candidate's high academic caliber, which is something we consider," Meng explains (see BW Online, 9/27/05, "Microsoft: Khakis and Brainteasers").

But having two degrees doesn't automatically get you a job. Meng also says getting hired depends on many variables, including the candidate's experiences and achievements, the position for which he's applying, and the two degrees earned.
Read it all...

Thursday, January 19, 2006

"Of course prison is an option"

Back in Boston. Flight was ugh. Swamped with a law course. Was very opinionated in class today and suggested that The Insider wasn't about an ethical issue.

When you have a choice between building a brand and building a business, it’s always better to focus on the brand first. The business can follow.
BBDO named Ad Age's agency of the year

Have you seen Nike's Ginga ad?

Fewer Swiffers, More Soccer, Please
An excellent article I think everybody should read.

Ok, have to go chase Em down. He's not speaking to me. 'Cuz I yelled at him. Bad Wolfie :(

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Eid Mubarak

So like we're making kurtis. Yes, from scratch. From like cloth and all. Pops and me. Well, mostly me. 'Cuz pops got all these thaans of very hideous cotton. And Banwari (the chap who cleans) got all excited and fixed the long-forgotten sewing machine and sewed a new quilt cover for Pops. It's a Spiderman print. Very exciting.

So Pops and I went shopping for suits for me all the way to Sharjah and back and didn't find a single one. So then we went to Union Co-op to get those fruit soaps he likes (24) and a rotisserie chicken and lots of tabouleh and Syrian pickles after which we cut cloth all sorts of ways and I sewed. It was fun. And turned out crap. But mostly fun.

Then we saw Page 3. Good movie. Bit long drawn but good.

Spending lots of time at the Kataria's. Went to the Gold Souk yesterday to shop for Anisha's birthday present - hideous long diamond earrings. Because you know, every 13 year old wants diamond earrings for her birthday. And we also looked at rings for Black Cobra's hubby-to-be. They were all quite ugly. We didn't buy any.

Saw Page 3 again at Kataria's. Now off there again for Eid. Apparently there's been a lamb cooking. I made sponge cake. Turned out quite nice.

I miss Black Cobra. She used to like my cakes. I hadn't baked in ages. Now she'll go marry some squirt and there will be nobody to bake cakes for. Very depressing.

Of men and mice

Of art and violence...
Storm: where's art? have you seen him lately
Wolfe: we speak on phone.. he is busy man.. with new job
Storm: next time you speak to him or see him, kick him in the shin, and tell him I'm still waiting for art work
Art has been added to the conversation.
Wolfe: tell him yourself
Storm: *swift kick in shin*
Wolfe: don't kick art.. he's nice
Storm: *twice even*
Art: oh .. hehe .. hello paresh
Storm: he's nice to a point.. after which I want to shave his fro
Art: what fro?? bro ??
Storm: so where's the famous artwork we've been promised for oh.. 5 months now
Art: aaah yes... sold out :P
Wolfe: he promised you artwork?! i live in the same town and i don't get art work.. *tapping foot*
Art: oh hush you
Storm: get in line
Wolfe: bastard boys
Art: sorry paresh.... just too much going on.. tell him Wolfe
Wolfe: he's got too much going on
Art: so busy i am ... no ?
Wolfe: very busy
Art: you could paraphrase it a lil
Storm: ya huh.. you're busy.. she's busy.. I'm busy.. everyone's busy
Wolfe: i'm not busy.. i'm wella
Storm: you've always been vella... you have vella-itis
Wolfe: bite me
Storm: oh dahling.. come here *Gnawing on earlobes*
Black Cobra has been added to the conversation.
Wolfe: oi! you leave my earlobes alone
Storm: this is white rook.. hello black cobra..
Storm: kajra re.. kajra re.. tere kaare kaare naina!
Wolfe: we are currently discussing how busy art is
Storm: *shimmying*
Wolfe: oh no.. he's shimmying again.. resh, stop this chichorapan
Black Cobra: why are people obssessed with that song
Art: but i AM !!!!
Wolfe: he is busy.. yes yes.. *nodding*
Storm: my every ang ang is chichora
Art: wtf is going on .. STOP !!!! too much going on here.. my tiny brain hurts
Storm: angna re angna re
Wolfe: uha bitch! tinkatinkatinka
Wolfe: i can just picture art sitting there holding his head weeping softly
Storm: or rocking in a corner .. sucking his thumb
Storm: voice accept karo
Wolfe: no mic.. in living room with pops and mom .. kal karenge voice chaat
Storm: sa'll right.. let them see how chichora I am too
Wolfe: no .. they're not ready

Of dancing and gaiety
Black Cobra: (babs I hate that song)
Wolfe: (too bad, he's going to dance chichora-like at your wedding to that song)

Of male pattern baldness
Wolfe: resh, don't divorce manna.. nobody else will marry you, you're balding
Storm: *gasp*.. oh no she didnt.. there is nothing wrong with balding !!
Art: exactly! at least i like to think so.. because i am too...:P or will eventually..
Wolfe: googs is silent becuase she is losing at scrabble.. *manaical laughter*
Storm: kal mui.. kaash tera pati bhi ganja ho
Wolfe: hai hai.. tere pe keede pade

Of love and illegal possession
Storm: torrents are like cheerleaders.. so hot..yet they wont put out till you're patient

Of youth and wisdom
Black Cobra: i am also d/ling greatest hits of john denver
Wolfe: geek
Storm: john denver..?!
Black Cobra: lol i know, you d/l mc solar and ive got john denver, i feel old
Storm: *screeching*
Black Cobra: i know.. horrible
Storm: you are old
Black Cobra: i went out on new year's eve to downtown, everyone was drunk and completely nuts on the street.. singing, screaming, doing weird things, I felt sooo old! streets were blocked off and there were cops on big horses
Wolfe: goodlooking horses?

Storm: amrit's a loser
Wolfe: *gasp*.. noooo.. amrit no loser.. amrit nice nice
Storm: look.. if he isnt defending himself
Wolfe: amrit drives 2.5 hrs from sharjah to deira to new job and works very hard
Storm: I Say no smoke without fire
Wolfe: nono.. amrit nice chap.. amrit is busy
Storm: yes we gathered as much stop defending him

Wolfe: sk. mak died and everything is closed
Storm: shaikh mak.. pyaar se log mujhe mak kehte hain.. mera pura naam makrand godbodle hai
Wolfe: dude.. godbole is such a cool name

Of Scrabble and shortness
Storm: googs.. start using cuss words.. the letter scores will be higher
Black Cobra: shh.. i'm thinking.. babs loses.. even though she did make cheeses.. which was quite smart
Wolfe: i do not lose.. f ... ingers.. fishfingers

Black Cobra: lost mr. malhin, u r losted

Of good things that come in un-tall packages
Wolfe: googs is too busy getting married to some squirt
Storm: how tall is he?
Wolfe: he's not
Storm: how tall is he? what's his height quotient? this silence.. it's deafening..
Black Cobra: he's 5 4
Wolfe: he's tiny
Black Cobra: he's pretty cute
Storm: how tall?
Wolfe: i keep tellilng you.. he's not tall
Storm: 5 4
Storm: yeah ok.. he's under my peripheral vision
Black Cobra: he puts in chest tubes and does aortofemoral grafts
Wolfe: another geek

Of pornography and er.. feathers
Wolfe: now there are jiggly babes with feathers in their hair on stage.. wot are we watching?!
Storm: porn
Wolfe: some strange fashion show.. these clothes are actually nice
Storm: ah.. here I thought it was mallu porn with unshaved people
Wolfe: no..i quit mallu porn.. it got too hairy
Storm: yea so did I .. the malbari god calling at time of orgasm was too much.. aiyoooooooo gaaaaaaaaaad gaaaaaaaaaad
Wolfe: you have officially turned me off porn now.. for life
Storm: oh please.. as soon as mom and dad go to bed you popping in girls gone badmash part 3 - dandia raas into the dvd player
Wolfe: that one was no good
Storm: tagline *These dandias aint just made for clickin*
Wolfe: ohgod
Storm: Amrit's like.. I watched that.. it was good.
Wolfe: stop picking on amrit
Art: wtf !! are you guys talking about ... this conversation is so random
Storm: Amrit it's ok.. we're talking about mallu porn
Wolfe: this conversation is not random..
Storm: and the orgasm moments.. where the girl goes.. aiyo.. gaaaaaad gaaaaaaaad
Wolfe: it's quite structured
Storm: and somewhere in there is an "aiyo.. ammmaa... ni poita vadey"

Of familial love
Wolfe: googs is cheating by looking at my letters.. this is how she wins.. this has been her strategy since childhood
Art: who is googs ?
Storm: googs is the sister unit foo
Wolfe: googs = black cobra = my cheating sister.. she's cheating at scrabble
Storm: not her relationship mind you
Art: what relationship ? see.. am lost again ..
Wolfe: rit, googs does not cheat in her relationships.. only at board games.. because she is a sore loser.. who has no word making power.. *instigate instigate*

Of prejudice and color
Storm: I'm ordering art a russian mail order bride.. who vaants hiimm
Wolfe: no..those are too bicepy.. go for a nice petite chinese one
Storm: I don't want yellow fever
Wolfe: don't be bigotic

Of feeble excuses and potty humor
Black Cobra: i wasnt cheating, i was trying to get some vowels!!
Wolfe: by looking at my letters.. sure.. tell it to the jury
Black Cobra: i have no vowels , im lost
Art: black cobra had to empty her vowels...
Art: hehehe
Art: hehehe
Wolfe: ohgod

Of blunt scissors and silence
Wolfe: kanchi is sceptical
Storm: kanchi is hot nein?
Wolfe: i think kanchi is tops
Storm: listen.. I dont want a girls opinion of kanchi.. Niku.. is kanchi hot.. art is kanchi hot?
Art: erm... i think you should leave kanchi alone...
Wolfe: kanchi, your hotness is in question
Storm: only pic can prove it
Wolfe: yes.. amrit doesnt think you're hot
Storm: we must have a picture of kanchi.. either a pic or a 4d rendition will suffice
Wolfe: vith voice
Storm: talking moving pictures are the devil's work

Of Bollywood and Denzongpa
Storm: dr dang ko yeh thapad yaar rahega.. is thapad ki gunj ki gunj tumhe sunai degi.. dr dang creates war.. dr dang is vvaaaar

We all need more sex toys in our lives
Art has left the conversation.
Storm: le.. now there's a friend.. he brings kanchi in here.. drops her in the middle of a pack of wolves.. and runs.. i tell you.. no decency these days.. definitely on my xmas list this man
Wolfe: kanchi, no prblem, come sit on me.. i mean.. er.. with me
Wolfe: i say kanchi is art wearing a burkha
Storm: *gasp*
Wolfe: wot?!
Storm: put the strap on away!
Wolfe: sorry
Storm: what is wrong with you!? corrupting young indian girls that way... err.. is she indian?
Wolfe: it's just that kanchi's alleged hotness..

Wolfe: calm down.. leave her alone
Storm: I'm not touching her *finger 2 inches away* see.. I'm not touching her
Wolfe: sigh.. *slap*.. resh.. behave.. kanchi hamari guest hai
Storm: aarey,.. mehmaan toh family samaan hota hai.. toh iska matlab yeh nahi ke mehmaan ko goad mein bithalo.. you were goad-o-fying her
Wolfe: not me.. i was being hospitable
Storm: no.. you were being lascivious.. eh seekha hai amreeka aake..eh seekha hai!
Wolfe: nahi bapu..
Storm: naam mitti mein mila diya sada
Wolfe: mai to.. bapu.. nahi! *screaming*

Storm: why are you marrying this man.. does he make you happy.. does he make you laugh?
Wolfe: she likes short surgeons
Storm: did he promise you a free chest intubation and aortofemoral transplant as a 25th wedding anni present?

Wolfe: paani se yaad aaya.. so last night, i woke up to go get some water from the refridge.. and in sleepiness drank from the vinegar bottle
Storm: yes go on
Wolfe: that's it
Storm: and that ladies and gents was the klpd of the evening
Wolfe: wot? like you've never done that
Storm: no I havent.. I have a frozen paani bottle next to me every night
Wolfe: very nice
Storm: seekho.. kuch seekho
Wolfe: lekin bapu
Storm: bas.. har raat chatting aur porn karti rehti ho
Wolfe: nahi bapu!
Storm: kede kaam ki nahin hai tu.. nikkad ja.. sada ghar de vich de nikal ja
Wolfe: nahiiin! *chudiyaan todo* mein to aapke charno ki dhool hoon

Wolfe: i'm returning stateside on the 16th to JFK.. who's coming to pick me up?
Wolfe: kanchi, tum aaogi?

Storm: kanchi.. it was great not talking to you. we should do it again sometime
Storm: dibbi.... I'll send you girls gone badmash part IX - Sarees, Pallus and Baarish

Friday, January 06, 2006

Can't decide if I want to go to bed or not

RedLightGreen helps you locate the most important books and other research materials in your area of interest, and find out whether what you need is available at your favorite library.
Read more here...

This is not a scaleable deficit

Dinner would be nice. Drinks would be better. Drinks on the beach would rock.

Sometimes Em, you can be so silly.

"Will anything happen if I go by the lighthouse"

"Yes. You will not crash into this rock."

Yesterday was spent mostly sleeping and making pizzas and aloo. Separately, not together. Then we went to Kataria's. And played Jeu D'Affaires, the business game. It was fun but too bloody loud. And, you'll be pleased to know, I've actually managed to make myself switch off and not be competitive when I'm on vacation. I lost very graciously. I also yawned a lot. That's 'cuz I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be sitting by the beach, smoking a sheesha and drinkin' me some Turkish kafe. Preferably with some intelligent life-form other than Sparky the dog.

And if you haven't seen Sparky or Ceasar in a while, you'll be pleased to know that they are now as big as damn horses with large salivary tongues, Black Cobra. You'd like them *snigger*.

The Al Maktoum Challenge isn't until the 11th. Since the city's in mourning, DSF is off and there isn't anything to do 'cept watch tele. So that's wot we'll do.

Or maybe I'll call Art and we'll go see if my favourite shawarma place is open. You know the one. It's on the corner of the Computer Street junction. Best in town, don't let the others fool you.

Oh and also, Pops has magically mangaged (much to Mum's horror) to acquire large quantities of very hideously printed cotton. Of which I shall make kurtis. For you too, BC. All very Rani-Mukherjee-before-she-had-her-first-hit types.

On a side note, men are idiots. Not all, just the ones that I date. Those are exclusively idiots. No exception. Nary a one. And still you wonder why I refuse to give up singledom.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Can you spot the South Park boys?

NYE was fun. Went to Kataria's house for a big bash. The kids were in the garage smoking suspicious substances and drinking bizzare booze and us normal people were out back by the pool. Self couldn't find the champagne so guzzled down two glasses of Shiraz and then after seeing Mum and Dad on the karaoke realised that I may be driving us home and so switched to apple juice. Which I absolutely abhor.

So Mum and Dad had a good time on the karaoke. Dad was horribly out of tempo and Mum was hideously screeching at one point. But they didn't stop laughing. Which was very nice to see. Also met a snooker giant and had an interesting discussion about souls or passions or something of the sort. I don't remember. I wasn't really paying attention. His eyes were too blue. Very distracting. Besides, Mum had the giggles very loudly at the microphone for most of it.

Then the fireworks happened. I counted 6 sites including the golf club at Emirates Hills with the fireworks directly above us. Very nice.

The drive back home was not fun. There were traffic jams and bad accidents. Don't drink and drive people. It's horrible to die in smouldering flames on the side of the road 30 minutes into the new year.

But one nice thing did happen. Kuttyman called. To say he's getting married. Yep, you read it right folks. That madman is off the market. He's found his martini mallu. Rumor has it that they tie the knot in April. I'm so proud of him *sniff*.

New Year's Day - off to the Kataria's to welcome the new Rolls. Yes, they bought the Phantom and not the Raybach. We spent hours on the damn thing. Pressing every button. Admiring every nut and bolt. I'm so bloody sick of that Rolls. In fact, I was so sick of that damn Rolls that I took it out on Em who lovingly called to speak to me. I miss Em. He's fun.

Then the other day we went to the Dragon Mart which is this huge-ass market (4000 stores) (not all open, stop drooling Black Cobra) where we bought these very cute dessert forks after which we pointed the GPS home and head off. Then we stopped at my favorite place - the Fruit and Vegetable Market - at Al Ibrahimi Restaurant (separate seating for families) and scarfed down some dhaba food, tootled off to the stalls and bought 14 kilos of onions (no seriously) and 72 oranges.

Going for the Emirates Webbloggers Meetup tomorrow (I think) and hopefully also meeting the IProx chaps and chicks. Looks like the Fujairah trip may be off.

Sheikh Maktoum died. The city is in mourning. DSF festivities are suspended. It's quite sad.

I shall now eat a lichee and go to bed. But again, I've forgotten to get my iRiver cable from my suitcase which is in Mum's room and she's asleep and I can't sneak in there to get it to upload more songs on my player because she's going to wake up and think I'm coming to rob her.. or something. My Mum's a light sleeper.

Oh wot the heck, one more night of Mancini can't hurt. See you tomorrow!

No wait! I wanted to say one more thing. Have you ever seen those B4U music videos where they take one song and play a different video on it? I saw J Lo singing Laila Laila. It was quite horrid. But apparently some editor sitting in some back room somewhere has the time, energy, patience and inclination to piece together bits of J Lo's videos to synch her lip movements with desi songs. Very fascinating.

Oo, also had a nice long chat with Artraj. I missed him. He's fun too. Mebbee I see him tomorrow as well. Yay! (Note to self: cannot date Art - he has seen me be sick after night of binge drinking.)

NOW I'm off to bed.

This post is completely pointless

With a five-bladed surface on one side and a single trimming blade on the back, Fusion is the linchpin of Gillette’s biggest launch ever, at least by sheer girth of products.
Flip Corp should get a Flippie. You know. Just for fun. Or as a print medium for their clients brands. Whichever.