Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Sand in my sandals

Voice identification - not science fiction for much longer.

India's airlines aren't being ignored anymore.

Coca-Cola fails in Germany.

Legal online betting on horses. Ten bucks says Etisalat's blocked the site. Which raises another question - do the horse owners get a piece of tbe ante pie?

New web monitoring tool created by Wisconsin-based tech and marketing firm. More than just a cool toy? Nooches, give it a whirl and let us know.

Disturbing statistics about women and the workforce.

The art of managing expectations. Wot every salesperson should have as a guide book. That being said, I never met a sales chap I liked. Why do they all ooze sleaze? Wot is it about them?

Speaking of sales chappies, I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt my AM was Schubert. Only he wasn't. But I was in a 4-storey hospital elevator that was hosting a party and I couldn't find the Googster. So I went home to change into a black blouse for my dinner date with Schubert. Only it wasn't Schubert, it was my AM. So VERY bizzare. Woke at 2 am, couldn't sleep and so finished 'Shall we tell the President?' (Jeffery Archer, Sir). D'ya remember when we stood in line to get those books signed when he was in town, Goog? And Sush was all a-twitter. That was funny.

Women fail to negotiate. Did you know this? I always thought the bargaining skills were transferrable from the grocer to the workplace.

Steroid sports. Frankly I think it's a waste of time. Do we really want to see lughead pumping themselves up with green and yellow pills just so they can hit a ball further? But hey, this is America. Make it happen and people will pay. Which raises another question - how do you measure quality of life?

Why face time is unreasonable in these times. Liz Ryan has grasped the nub (or is that the crux?!). I agree. Why, in God's name, should I be expected to be at my desk from 9-5, 5 days a week? Especially the sort of job I do. I'm better off doing it at home. Which, btw, makes my parents very nervous. They're of the generation and profession where face time is all there is. But I say free yourselves! Unchain the shackles that bound you to your desk! Find a beach somewhere with wireless connectivity. Management consultancy, here I come!

All hail the media of the masses!

UW-Madison rat experiment could lead to stem-cell treatment for ALS. The brilliant folks at UWM find a way to get around the controversial issues of using human embryonic stem cells - they worked with cells collected from brain tissue from electively aborted human fetuses. Now the only thing we have to worry about is that they don't make abortions illegal statewide. Keep your fingers crossed. Well, lobbying will prolly have more of an effect but I highly doubt my blog audience is that zealous. The article is chock-full of technicals but read it to the very end and try and understand it. I cannot impress upon you how vital this is to the development, nay survival of the human race.

Also, I think it's interesting that it is more acceptable in scientific circles to experiment on rats more than primates.

California investment firm acquires Red Prairie of Milwaukee. Yes, I know it's old news but I've only just gotten to that mailer. RFID is the future! *cue waving banner*

Inner-city entrepreneurship needs to be on the up and up.

Did you go to Fusion 2005? No? Well, read the reports! I especially like the one on CIOs learning boardroom-speak.

Sick of blogs? *tee hee* 9 million blogs out there with 40,000 new ones popping up each day! Would that explain why my readership is declining?! You gotta separate the riff from the raff, luvvies. I love the story about Mark Jen being fired from Google and then being taken up by Plaxo. And now with RSS aggregators are starting to be more widely used, surfing as you and I know it has a short life span. Targeted information. When you want it. As you like it. Do you know if they have this as an item in the list of channelizing effective advertising techniques in b-school? This can potentially take branding to a whole new level.

Which reminds me, where can I get Abigail Whistler's playlist?!

I need to rethink my entire blog strategy. There you go, luvvies, there's an exercise for you. Come up with all the reasons you read me and features you'd like to see. This could be the beginning of an entire new website. Let 'er rip, I am not afraid. You see that little comments link at the bottom? Click on it.

Besides, there's another up-side to this entire power-to-the-people approach. When I'm in charge of something important™ this will be a very simple way of compiling my list of people who ought to get the phazer treatment. For those of you that know me, you know wot that means, and for those of you who don't, you don't need to know because then you'll turn me in to the men in white coats and that wouldn't help.

Back to your irregularly unscheduled program -

Business Week has their own blog.

Fun quote of the week:

This attitude has troubled some, and Steele has even had an angry broker threaten to sue him over a posting she believed reflected negatively on her. A powerful lawsuit could quickly bring down a shoestring operation like Curbed.com, but Steele has a power card to play as well: "I just told her, look, if you sue me, I'll post about it on my blog." With so many of the broker's customers reading Steele's site, that could pose a real threat to her reputation.

Read the entire story...

Samsung's SPH-P207 cell phone has speech-recognition software

Why societies - and startups - collapse

Now this is marketing on an opportunity! Read all about Martha's Poncho made Lion Brand Yarn a lot of money.

What do you do when your employer's perfectly lawful demands conflict with your moral code. I agree with Liz Ryan (there she is again) - deal with it or quit. Capitalism isn't going to flourish if we're too busy babysitting "human issues".

Macromedia marries Adobe A lot of people have been wanting this. Be careful wot you wish for.

That's it for now. More later.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

The ride home from work

The ride home from work

Dubai World Trade Center

Red dhow

That picture has been there forever

Dubai taxi

Construction everywhere

Obligatory tree shot

Totally batshitfuckingloco man!


Simply must stop being obsessed with Abhishek Bachchan. It's just not .. acceptable!

Saturday, May 28, 2005

I never did post Gholvad pictures, did I?

Little statues on shelf

Lakshmi statue

School building

Classroom benches

My Grandmother

Gholvad beach

Chair and charpai

Coconut palms

No album is complete without the close-up of leaves picture

More sunset on Gholvad beach

Yeh dil maange more!

So like, Pops wants to make a Hindi movie sequel to Titanic.

And in this sequel, Jack doesn't die. Because, you know, it's a Hindi movie. The hero can't die. Well, not unless the heroine does too. In which case, it's an art film and therefore won't make any money at the box-office. Art aside, let's not forget the main objective here which is to be nauseatingly rich.

So, Jack doesn't die and they get separated, him and Rose and land on these tapus. But these aren't ordinary tapus. Nosiree, these are tapus with Punjabi dhabas and dakoos. Wot are dakoos doing on deserted islands you ask. Well it's our bloody movie and if we want dakoos, well then dakoos is wot we'll have.

So anyway, fast forward 20 years (which is the correct amount of time as per a Hindi movie that loved ones ought to be separated - see Bees Saal Baad) and Rose, one night, is disturbed and cannot sleep. So she's up bright and early at 4 am (everything in this house happens at 4 am - this includes making fish curry) and Jack is out with his fishing boat (because only such heathens (and my Dad) are up at that ungodly hour) and as his boat passes her island, she sees him, standing on the deck. And their eyes meet (yes, I know the boat is prolly a few hundred feet out into the ocean and she's on the beach, but this is a Hindi movie, 'nuff said). And then he leaps into the sea and she wades out to him and cue an Anu Malik song and bang slap bob's yer uncle there's your Hindi movie.

Don't forget the dakoos try to be ungentlemanly with Rose and she sings a song, and Jack joins a labor union and sings a song, and the Punjabi dhabewala meets a hot chick and falls in love with her while she's singing a song in the rain wearing a tissue paper sari with no blouse.

I think we've got a hit!

On another note, I went to the Dubai International Art Center's 50th members exhibition at Wafi Mall in Wafi City yesterday and I was sorely disappointed. I expected more. That is not to say that the pieces I saw there weren't good. Some were bloody brilliant and of course I've left my notes in the cab so I can't tell you who did wot and naturally they don't have the list posted on the web because, you know, that would make sense and may possibly even drive sales, but hey wot do I know, I'm just Daddy's little girl and it's not like I actually have to work because you know, I'll be married soon and then my life's mission will be complete and heaven forbid that I have an opinion about art or anything else.

No, nothing on my mind. Really.

So anyway, some good artists, some mediocre ones, some very confused and some very unoriginal. But it did make me want to turn interior decorator for the rich and famous because between you and me, they have some appaling shite on their walls and everytime I go visit these people I want to shake them by the shoulders and scream in their faces, "wot were you thinking, foo?!"

There was this 11-yr old boy who made a sketch titled Ridicule. And it was a crudely drawn human figure with pairs of eyes looking at him. I thot that was bloody brilliant for an 11-yr old.

And there's this woman who did a few pieces titled 'The name of God' with suras written in lovely penmanship and the name of God superimposed on the sheet with wot seemed to be sand mixed with resin and then painted over.

There's this other woman who was very feministic, albeit subtly, and I wanted to buy all 3 of hers - Woman playing piano in blue, woman playing violin in green and flower in bloom (which looked so much like youknowot I'm surprised the Ministry dinna black marker all over it). But lovely work. Absolutely lovely. And if each wasn't AED 3000, I'd have spent my pocket money on them, nevermind I don't have a room to hang them in.

Right. Going to go watch Chicken Run with the Mater.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

A mole makes all the difference

Incompetent fools at Etisalat have blocked the BU admitted students site. 'Cuz, you know, heaven forbid that people want to get information.

I wanted to blog about mum and dad watching Mindfreaks on the tele the other night but I fell asleep on the table whilst waiting for my laptop to boot up.

I'm so behind on links schminks that I have over 33 periodicals in my inbox.

Dirty data everywhere and no integration in sight.

Someone told me that European furniture makers take summers off. Is that true?

Personally, I don't care for Microsoft Office on the web. I think it's horrible.

I'd be very interested to know how this whole selling of music online problem is going to be solved. I do love that they've started selling music by the track. Makes it a lot easier to spend.

Hydrogen-powered motorbike! But no bloody picture. Tch.

Damn people! Leave the sweatshops alone! They provide food and lodging and occupation!

Scent. The new media. Oo *shiver*, I love being alive in this century.

We're going out for dinner at some uncle's. In the same building. But I still have to wear shoes, I was told. Damn.

Is it bad form to show up at dinner at 9 when you've been asked at 9:30? I'm hungry.

Speaking of hunger, I swam 1km yesterday. IN ONE HOUR! How sucky is that. Tch.

My neck just cracked alarmingly. I think I've loosened it.

Sunil Dutt died. So did Ismail Merchant. Very sad. They were brilliant, good men. RIP.

Cingular gets slammed.

But why, Wolfie, you ask, do you subscribe to the Wisconsin Technology Network? Because, I say, I used to live there. It was home. It was good to me. I owe it a lot. And I'm bloody homesick. Yes, I know I'm home, but you know wot I mean.

Still, there's always tomorrow.

Data is king! I keep telling you people that, but nobody listens!

Did I say over 33? I meant 82.

Mere moze kahan hai?!


Stanley Tucci

Rajesh Khera

Adil Ray

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

More fun things that were said at work

"It's the sizzle that sells the sausage."

"I do speak English", said the Frenchwoman about an hour into the meeting conducted in English.

"We're going International. We don't want to dilute the club membership."

"We're not losing membership, but 1% of members leave every year."

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Ze Germans are very goot

Instead, I'm going to tell you about The Venue. So like, Dubai World Trade Center has convention halls. And I'm not talking just halls. I'm talking Sheikh Rashid Hall halls. This mother can hold more than 6000 people. They had it all done up for the recent wedding. Oh but it was lovely. Plush red carpeting with hundreds of dinner tables with light pink tablecloths and huge flower arrangements and mammoth floor speakers and dim lights and a projection system throwing up images of Burj Al Arab and other buildings around town and gold plated dinner plate lids (I can't for the life of me remember wot those are called.. and no, don't say domes) and gilt-edged glassware and things. Very very lovely. And no, I couldn't take pictures 'cuz it wasn't allowed.

And then yesterday I saw the Wedding Showroom. Oh my. Pinks and ruffles and pristine whites and oh it almost makes you want to get married just to throw a party. 300 weddings a year they do. Ho mama, I saw the dinnerware they had for the Al Futtaim wedding and I wanted to weep. Did you know they have one dinner set that has about 10,000 pieces? And over 300 styles to choose from. Makes me hungry just thinking about it.

And then today I was given a tour of the kitchens. But boy oh boy. Two levels below the convention center building. There are two lifts to be used for prepared food already (can't go around dragging raw meat in those things) and I could live in one. No, seriously, the lift is bigger than the study I have at home. In fact, it is about three-quarters as large as our living room at home and we have a bloody large living room. And they have Honeywell monitoring systems to raise alarms if the temperate drops in the freezers. And they have about 7 walk-in freezers - for vegetables, fish, meats and other bits and bobs. And a blast defroster fridge. And more individual chillers for everyday use. All pretty much the same size. Which would be about half my bedroom at home. Yes, I do realize that giving you actual meterage would help but I couldn't be bothered to estimate now. And they have this really funky ceiling. Wot it is is a completely ventilated ceiling. Which means they don't have those large metal-looking hoods over the stoves type thing. The hot air in the cooking area is sucked in by the ceiling and it administers an air-pressure curtain so the temperature in the preparation area isn't raised. 'Cuz you see, they're on either side of the room with only about 15 feet between them. Lots of shiny counter space. And these large pressure-fryers and vats for boiling and portable immersion blenders as tall as me. And these really cool ovens with humidity control so your meat never dries out. So very cool.

Oh, and the Kitchen Artist was making a butter falcon for some big Sheikh doo-dah so we went and peeked in there. They have about 100 chefs in that place. For the royal wedding they had 500. That's just the cheffy staff. Doesn't include waitstaff and cleaners and transport people. That's the people that transport food from one place to another. You know, in those lifts. Up and down and from the kitchen to the banquet halls. Brilliant.

I'll try and sneak in a few pictures later but I'm not allowed mostly. I'll try and get some of the public areas though.

It's been a long day and I'm a bit sleepy now that I've skipped the swim. I'll go to bed with my book and you think about your wedding and if you want yellow Holland tulips or oriental pink lillies. Me, I'd personally like the bright red and yellow tulips.. and blue ones.. and pink ones.. and orange ones.. and the ones with the streaks.. and those ones..

I have no words for a title

I'm not even going to comment on the Delhi bomb blasts because of the movie. I'm too tired with all the crap that goes on in that country. Let them all kill themselves. I've stopped caring.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Dubai's largest dinner party

C'mon party people. You know you're going to go out for dinner one night this week - might as well make it Monday for a good cause. Book your table, gather some friends and treat yourself to a candlelight supper. All donations go to Foresight.

Why are you still here?! Go book now! "Dine by Candlelight Foresight and you could help find a cure for blindness"

I'm leaning towards sushi. Any takers?

But why Wolfie, you may ask, are you endorsing this event? Because, I answer, not being able to see is a very very horrible thing. Do I have to remind you of the paper-cut-in-my-eye days? No, no, you shriek in horror, please don't start whining again. Well book your table then, I say!

Friday, May 20, 2005

Tea for you and two for tea

Tea. Tea. That wonderful brew. Wakes you up in the morning like a sweet milky kiss. But oh so temperamental. You have to measure out the water in your cup and leave room for milk. Then you have to dash the milk in. And contrary to most laws of physics, the first dash of milk doesn't raise the liquid level. It only clouds up the water. Then you have to add more milk to ensure the finished product is a complete cup of chai. And I always seem to think that gobs of it are going to evaporate so I do my due diligence and dash in a bit more. As a result of which, I've got too much milk. Then I think to myself, "Self! More water?" "No, the brew will darken and none will be the wiser." "Brilliant!" Then comes the chai ka masala because no self-respecting half-Gujju household will ever serve up plain tea. Add the tea leaves and then begins the boil.

Many school of thoughts re this boil. 6 times to the top, me mum says. Which results in tea so weak, you want to poke it in the chest and call it names. Do wot I do - boil it for about 12 minutes. Strain and pour. Now that's a cuppacha!

The only problem being that when you're dragged out of bed at 6 am to make cha fer yer cranky dad, you don't have the patience to stand there and watch the damn thing boil for 12 minutes or indeed '6 times to the top'. So you stare at it long enough to ensure that steam issues, bung it in the nearest cup and shove it under Dad's nose. Which is prolly why he throws the newspaper at me every morning.

Note to self: must employ chai-maker either in electrical or human form.

Which idiot sent me an SMS at 2 am this morning asking me to come out with them?! No name, no location, no nothing! Just "dude, this is mad, come out with us". Wot the hell does that mean?! You're lucky I was half-asleep, I'd have called you up and verbally kicked your ass. Next time, SEND ME YOUR NAME, otherwise I am inclined to mutter abuse, roll over and go back to sleep. I'm not getting out of my cozy bed for some nameless freak on the street. That shit is fun only in Milwaukee, not here.

That being said, I read the Entertainment Magazine (someone really worked hard on that name) today and apparently I've missed the Royal Omani Orchestra's single performance show, bunch of djs I wanted to check out, a concert or three and a mini film festival. #$^8$%)!

Today I shall take dad's car and go take pictures around town. Yes, alone. 'Cuz I got no friends. Prolly because I harbor murderous sentiments towards those who message me to go out presumably to wot seems to sound like a raucous drinking binge. But tonight? I'm free tonight! I can go binging tonight!

Smoking cigarettes causes heartburn. Inhaling second-hand smoke also causes heartburn. Pop's is at it again. Seems to have an identity crisis these days. Thinks he's a chimney and thus obliged to pollute. I'm going to have to burn something after he leaves.

Interesting things at work these days. Trying to fix a project plan. Took me all day yesterday to get a GUI designer. He was 'resourced' elsewhere. And he's not a GUI designer. He's a graphic artist. There are no GUI designers here. They're all ex-photographers-turned-potheads. And bald. They're all bald and look like ATA.

Think may perhaps go for Merchant of Venice and/or Star Wars today. With bigg (yes, with 2 gs) tub of buttered popcorn and a giant slurpie. Only they don't have slurpies here. But the equivalent isn't bad. Only I don't got no friends to snort over brain freeze jokes with. Oh well.

"To the mall" is the cry raised from all corners of the kingdom. "To the mall, and fear nothing!"

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Compelling spam subject lines

"nobody can beat us"
"Our company does it lightly and rapidly than ever to attain the classifications"
"Rolex is not for everyone, it's for you Cornelius"
"Sav on rneds. To be precise, sav a lot on rneds."
"Intrepid Investors Report"
"This may help fight HIV viruses"
"Makes you great in bed. Now all you have to do is get laid."
"Imagine there's no fat"
"goodbye to the thighs"
"Protein healing power in crocodile"
"Every man must have a sex! MUST!!!"
"Don't Visit the Doc, Visit Us"
"Send the love home with an online photo album"
"Tell ernie not to come over?"
"How early is too early"
"Abraham call your brother to do it"
"Are you still fat?"
"second notification Kermit"

I so need to launch a new comic.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Last night's conversations

Wolfe says:
batshit fucking locos
Artraj says:
Artraj says:
stop being chinese with me
Wolfe says:
wot did you think it meant?
Artraj says:
i dunnnooo... thought it had something to do with bat poo and locomotives or somehthing totally retarded like that !!!

Storm says:
argh now I have that kamal hassan tune in my head
Wolfe says:
heh.. which one?
Storm says:
telephone dhun mein hasne waali
Wolfe says:
heh.. that's a daft song
Storm says:
I KNOW... make it stop
Wolfe says:
chk chk chk.. chk chk chk...
Wolfe says:
something something mein machalne wali
Storm says:
Wolfe says:
chk chk chk .. chk chk chk..

Wolfe says:
i upgraded my winamp and lost my skin... so annoyed
Storm says:
not in the skin folder?
Wolfe says:
no.. also i installed lite.. maybe that's why
Storm says:
argh.. yea.. bad idea.. no support for skins
Storm says:
you know.. that's what the compatability matrix is for *Giggle*
Wolfe says:
Storm says:

Storm says:
dont want to clog up our connections
Wolfe says:
yes.. keep our connections clear..
Wolfe says:
Storm says:
Storm says:
I have no broom
Storm says:
thus I blow
Wolfe says:
Storm says:
test test.. this is the tonsil test
Wolfe says:
uha bitch
Wolfe says:
Storm says:
you're so batshit fuckin loco
Wolfe says:
totally man

Wolfe says:
are you secretly a superpower?
Artraj says:
you mean like .. can i fly ? or see through clothes ?? or just break walls !?
Wolfe says:
all of the above
Artraj says:
no ... but i can draw !?
Wolfe says:
that's superpowerish enough
Wolfe says:
you can be.. Pencilman!
Wolfe says:
Wolfe says:
The Almighty Charcoal Stick!
Artraj says:
could you possibly find something a little less phallic maybe
Artraj says:
i mean .. i dont want it to be too suggestive
Wolfe says:
The Giant Rubber?
Artraj says:
after all i need a logo that can be used extensively
Artraj says:
Wolfe says:
Artraj says:
yes.. RUBBER HEAD !!!
Wolfe says:
rubberhead is good.. you can be Rubberhead.. or should that be RubberHead?
Wolfe says:
wot'll i be? i want to be a superpower too
Wolfe says:
me me.. i want to play!
Artraj says:
and evil strikes hometown and rubber head dashes into the pharmacy ...
Wolfe says:
into the pharmacy?!?
Artraj says:
Wolfe says:
yes.. right..exactly
Wolfe says:
we could paint you with a giant condom on your head
Wolfe says:
your weapon can be a large penis-shaped pencil
Wolfe says:
you could go around erasing the bad guys
Wolfe says:
from the comic book of life
Wolfe says:
yes well that's all very entertaining but wot am i going to be?
Artraj says:
uh ... u can be AHAHA!!
Artraj says:
Wolfe says:
Mehrunissa, the perfume killer!
Artraj says:
dude !?
Wolfe says:
creeps upon her prey and vanquishes them with one whiff of her suffocating perfume
Artraj says:
it has to be inuendonic !?? ( if thats a propper word )
Wolfe says:
much like arab woman in tiny elevator
Wolfe says:
dude, propper isn't even a proper word
Artraj says:
screw you .. u know blooody well.. it was a typo
Wolfe says:
stop being a drunken monkey and contribute!
Artraj says:
Wolfe says:
halftit? *glare*
Wolfe says:
i gave you a killer like rubberhead and you give me halftit?
Wolfe says:
you're useless!
Wolfe says:
halftit he says.. *snort*
Artraj says:
are we allowed to use other languages !?
Wolfe says:
*pottering off*.. you think about it.. i've got a sleep deficit to catch up on..

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Of course I'm safe

Amrit(raj) said...
Are you s'posed to add em to your MSN list?!

mm... dunno .. is that safe !??
Are you carrying 'pepper spray' , 'gun loaded with silver bullets' or 'a cross' ???

Tuesday, May 10, 2005 3:30:41 PM

Sure I am! Storm! Tell 'im how safe I am.

Open up the markets!

Damn Etisalat. Posted a tiny paragraph in Gulf News today indicating that "service may be unavailable in some parts of Dubai". Wot does that even mean?! Read that there's a second telecom company opening up in June. More as I learn.

Why did I bother getting wireless cable?! Walls are made of concrete in this town. No signal in any other room but the study and I might as well have yanked an ethernet cord across the room. Have figured out why wireless works so much better in the US. The walls there are made of cardboard.

Slept for most of today. Strangely can't seem to stay awake. Keep popping off when try to read book. Perhaps should pick up another book as current one obviously not very good.

Soundtrack for most of today's awake time -

Sonu Nigam - Likhe jo khat tujhe from Kanyadaan (don't ask) (and no, I don't prefer the Mohd. Rafi version)
Rabbi Shergill - Bulla ki jaana
Rabbi Shergill - Tere bin
Ms Scandalous - Aaja Soneya
Anand Raj Anand - Dil de diya hai from Masti (again, don't ask)

No, I don't know where this Bollywood fascination is coming from. I actually happen to think these are good songs. Stop sniggering. There are people out there who listen to country & western. So there. Hah. *sticking to my guns*

I'll tell you something odd though - all these songs feature the word 'rab' at least thrice. Maybe that's indicative of.. well.. something.

Ms Scandalous should stick to rapping. She no good as a singer. Although the dhol on Aaja Soneya is addictive.

Simply haven't been able to access work email all weekend. IT department very daft for an online media services company. Must remember not to be catty at work tomorrow. Pops wonders why I got two laptops going at the same time.

Strange dreams involving Sanjay Dutt and Albert Pinto. No, not THOSE kinds of strange dreams *shudder*. Although... hmm... *gay porn reaching new heights in my head*.

Went to the Hills this morning and was given a large thing of mithai in honor of Deep's engagement. Ate a quarter of it in the car on the way home and then promptly went to bed. Only just woken up. Contemplating eating another third and heading off to bed again.

Damn, got the blues again. Have espied song by Rabbi Shergill titled 'Totia Manmotia'. Simply must listen to it.

Speaking of which, there's this hilarious ad on the tele these days. For some wood finishing or something. There's this little Sardar boy who starts speaking Tamil and happens to be the incarnation of Saavithri's Swami. Very funny.

Yes, I do realize that isn't enough information for you to look it up and I'll see if I can post a link to it, stop cribbing.

Have managed to connect to work's Exchange server but cannot attach attachments to email. Sigh. I think I'll go back to bed.

Post note: Have closed all 'acronym' tags with 'a' tags, would you believe.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Albert Pinto ko gussa kyon aata hai?

I really have to stop being catty and resume being constructive

Reading Curry's post on religion.

Does it count if you don't know if you have faith or not?

I used to think I was a freethinker. A rationalist. Because, well, because it was cool to be one. Back then when I was 15. Then came the whole personal crisis part of my life and suddenly it wasn't cool to be an athiest anymore. Bad things happened to good people and things really didn't make sense. Agnostism is a very schizophrenic attitude and takes a lot out of you. The constant worrying if you're going to hell competing with the satisfaction of knowing, nay believing, that hell didn't exist. Or at least it doesn't in Hinduism. Or does it? Are you just left by the wayside at the end of time? Or are you just born again and again until you're a snake and the Kingdom is closed until further notice? Then come the engineering years and that doesn't help any. A scientific approach is very detrimental to one's strength of belief. Then you get to the point where you're not interested in the Future and thereafter. You just want to get through the present and only facts matter. Maybe you have your own personal God. Maybe you believe through fear and dare not question. For centuries people in India have believed in the oddest of superstitions with eyeless faith. Where did it all come from? How can people in such numbers so willingly lead (sacrifice?) their lives for something unseen and untouched and completely illogical? Is that divine motivation? It would have to be - I still have faith in humankind if nothing else.

Blaise Pascal said, "The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know." And he was a scientist. He originated the theory of probability (amazing the things you learn on the GMAT). "Men have contempt for religion and fear that it is true. To cure this it is necessary to commence by showing that religion is not contrary to reason; then that it is venerable, and worthy of respect; next to make it amicable, and make the good wish that it were true; and finally to show that it is true." As he puts it - either God exists or He does not exist. So why not gamble? Place a wager. Bet that God does exist. "If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He exists."

Sounds perfectly logical to me. But still... I have no faith for that logic. If scientists can live with both reason and supernatural, why can't I?

Wallahi, I don't know

OOOO. Me likey dis collaborative art project. Very Peter Gabriel.

More cool pictures.

Saw a security guard today combing his moustache with a bright orange comb.

It says on my laptop...
"Important Notice
For comfortable and safe use, read Safety & Comfort Guide.
I think that's funny.

Where am I going to get 70,000 quid from?!

I'm beginning to sound like an Australian (Bruce's Baar and Grille!). I just said "fakin' ace mate".

Wolfe says:
it irritates me when desis say 'hai Wolfe'...
Storm says:
hai wolfe? that's the IM?
Wolfe says:
no.. that's the email
Storm says:
work mate?
Wolfe says:
'hai Wolfe, myself suresh'... no.. dubai indie film group.. all they care about is smokin' dope and gettin high.. or should i say 'hai'... bad joke! bad joke!)
Storm says:
you get dope in dxb?
Storm says:
wait stupid Q

Wolfe says:
Emirates Write On
Storm says:
opened site. squealed @ color. closed site.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Rodrick, Professor ko boat mein daal do

So like Ashok Kaul is making an animated Indian film. Bhagmati - Queen of Fortunes. And as Albert Pinto, my new technical lead, commented, "all the talented desi animators work for Dreamworks and Pixar, not Zee."

Get Goowy email. Attack of the serif G!

The new Pope will have a hard act to follow.

So like my shaadi.com profile has been taken off because I have to provide a copy of my driver's license to prove I am who I say I am. Bogus. I shall ignore that email and eventually they'll delete me from their database and nobody will be the wiser. Hah.

Pops is very annoying today. He's got an upset stomach and is irritable and falls asleep every 5 minutes. And mum too. Sleeping sickness they've got. So very bored. Can't go out because of stupid 'you must be around when I'm around' rule. Can't wait to get out of here.

Plus he's smoking again. Or should I say still. Apparently he's been sneaking around and has been smoking all this while. The less said about how I feel about that, the better.

Nooches says:
so find a guy who wants a wife, but no kids.
Wolfe says:
Nooches says:
how about that vampire-ish guy we saw on the profiles that hasn't told his parents yet that he's gay. that would be easy for both of you
Wolfe says:
no thanks..he'll still want his bed tea..
Nooches says:
both of your parents would get off your backs and you could both lead separate lives! hah!
Wolfe says:
i refuse to deploy evasive tactics..i shall be openly belligerent
Nooches says:
so he could find a "bed tea boy"

Stupid man at work suggested that they should make cars with eyeliner holders to market to women. Wanted to throw a stapler at him. Instead said that women prefer V8 engines these days thank you very much. I don't think he likes me much. Keeps saying 'hello chaps' when sees me and Albert Pinto. Don't think he's noticed I've got boobs. I did wear a skirt today though.

The MobiNote DVX-Pod 7010. Being touted as an iPod on steroids. Hah!

Nooches says:
you are 9 hours ahead?
Wolfe says:
yes... you are GMT-5 and we are GMT+4
Nooches says:
ahhh. i don't suppose there is anything like daylight savings time there either.
Wolfe says:
nope.. so sometimes you're 10 hours behind .. but not till fall
Nooches says:
yes, well, always behind
Wolfe says:
yes.. since the sun rises in the east
Nooches says:
yes, gurdish's mother tried to explain it to him, but he didn't get it so she just slapped him, remember his story? she stayed up all night helping him study and when she woke him up to go take his test she asked him where does the sun rise....he said west...she slapped him HARD!!

The case of the missing trillion. The cash is being sucked out from under our noses, people!

Doggie day care. More crap stateside.

P. Diddy's takin' over the world one ring tone at a time. "Eventually the technology catches up to the dream." Brilliant.

That's all for tonight. Want to get into bed and read my book with the torn front cover and a postcard for a bookmark. The Word - Irving Wallace. Actually I just want to get into bed. I could blog from there but that would involve sitting up. And I just want to sink. Or as far as one can sink into a mattress on the floor. You know wot I mean.

As A. Pinto would say - adieu, connect with you tomorrow.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Fun things that were said at work yesterday

"There's a new revolution on the Internet. It's called the Platform for Privacy Preferences."

"But the Can Spam Act is not legislation in this part of the world."

"No, no, not America. We don't care about the American standards. Go with the EU."

"There are no crumbs in my cookie."

"Call it Exhibitor Info." "That's redundant. It's obvious they're on the website to get info."

"You need to be all gizmoed up."

"The boys need to cogitate it."

Listen to me...

... all you miscellaneous people who come to my blogistan. Am I s'posed to add you to my MSN list?! Are we meant to correspond via other media?! Why are you in the same groups I'm in?! Are you fun?! Do I want to get to know you?! Will you teach me to stand on my head?!

This city is full of moronic cabbies

And moronic people who argue that I give wrong addresses. You would think that people would give me the benefit of doubt seeing as I've only just lived in the same fucking flat for 16 fucking years. But no. I must have given them the wrong fucking address. And then, to top it all, they want to argue with me about it. For fucksake, get a life.

Read links schminks -

Who says hard work isn't rewarded?

MBA applicant numbers are down, but ten bucks says the tuition won't be.

Remind me again, why did I not get Bluetooth enabled in my laptop?

Friday, May 06, 2005

Culo? Cujo? Cahones? Copas!

Have cancelled clubbing plans with friends again tonight. Next weekend I'll stop feeling sorry for myself and missing the Eastsiders and go out to party I promise. But for now, all I want to do is crawl into my pink pajamas, cocoon myself in a giant blanket and watch television.

Saw Masti earlier today. Actually laughed out loud in parts. Which is strange for me, because I can't remember the last time I did that. Vivek Oberoi did a good job.

"There you go, talking in third person again"

I was walking down the street today and my shoelace came undone and I was suddenly very lonely because I didn't have anybody to tie it for me.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I seen some very purty flowers today

More losers from the shaadi website. Bah. I'm being spammed I tell you.

Read funny things from The Shawshank Redemption.

And some email forward -

An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. Americans always have to show their passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

Monday, May 02, 2005

Real, honest-to-goodness matrimonial responses

Damn, I miss the Goog. We used to have so much fun with these.

Everybody is hard to describe in a few words, fun, easygoing, easy to talk to, shy by nature and liberal/modern. This you must know. Some are 'occasionally non-veg'.

Here are some of the best -

"Have travelled extensively inside India as well as outside - so I guess I love travelling." Cuz, you know, it's not like he knows it for sure.

"Iam mixture of east and West"

"My friend refer to me as a chocolati guy." I do not want to know wot sort of 'friend' this chap has.

"As a person I am down to earth and a smart thinker." As a person, you are a toad.

"I love ... hanging around with interesting and inspiring articles." You're an inspiration in itself.

"I have dont habbit like (Tobeco, Hard dirnk & Smoking. ) I am searching my life partern. She Should Be Beautiful, Good Height, & Big Harted & Brod Minded. (Mixing nature)." Love the punctuation on this one. You think I should write back with something like "you will like me, i have very brod heart and big chest"?

"My youngest sister has just finished her MBBS from Mumbai. So that makes my family an ideal one and me proud. :)" Aww. Now that's sweet. Pity you can't provide a reason when you reject them.

"settled in the US blessed with a chain of stores of optics" We should all be so lucky.

"i dont like selfish people." Ook. At least he sounds pretty sure.

"I strongly believe in "live and let live" and so why not live your life king size because you only live once." He's selling underwear, I know it.

"Let us know each other in best possible way with traditional limits." Wot, no holding hands?

"aiming to go ahead in life." You know, as opposed to the other way.

"I go for a walk on a beach... with winds in my hair and the sand at my feet... " As Si rightly said, sounds like a bum with no shoes and no hat.

"I am a driving freak... I love cars... My friends say that i can even forget my wife for my car..... thats not a truth.. but they say that. Willing to buy a Ferrari before I die. U know the latest model ?? Enzo ferrari.... amazing car... brilliant piece of engineering... A man should be always be amazingly brilliant at his work front... " I have no words.

"I am man of 25 years with very clean and neat habits." Always good to know.

"I like fresh hand made food with different tastes." Wouldn't you?

"I m a bit child like" We'll get along famously.

"words are not enough to define about me as u will come to know urself with the passage of time(which u will spent with me aftr @)... in a nutshell i am in merchant navy having survival life with the blues of the seas and the schoring heat of the sun...." He's the one, I'm telling you, he's the one for me.

"Always be +tive=and always think and help needy peoples this is aim and hope god will fulfil rest u have to do" Now how can you go wrong with that equation? Especially if "everybody is good".

"she should be truthful and able to adjust if it is required." Er, required to adjust to wot? Not being truthful?

"I have been born brought up n bread in Delhi." Yes, Delhi does have some good bread this time of year. He's cute too.

"As per me, average personality,My Hobbies are Reading,Music ,new experiments." Experiments. Now THAT'S definitely a first.

"Am a only one son for my perents." Your poor parents. This one also likes exclamation marks. Apparently he works! and is looking for a friend! who can be a life partner!

"I believe in this Chinese saying which goes like " Dont tell your future plans to God, otherwise he will laugh at you. "" Don't tell me either. I just may not be able to handle the giggles.

"I am no way a MCP, and will really like my wife to further her career after marriage." Always good to know up front.

"in cricket i enjoy fielding, and when it comes to batting i just sweep everything thats bowled to me.. i tend to forget that i have bat and not a broom in my hand..." Oh how lovely. A sportsman.

"My long term goals include turning producer of TV software." Not Japanese?

"I am quite challenging guy with lot of views for the future. I go by life as it comes." Which is fortunate because it would be hard to go by life a bit ahead in the future, wouldn't it, you challenging guy you.

I'm too tired to go on. Googs! Halp!

Shoe bites

Stuck in a freezing conference room with a very sexist Account Manager and a very condescending Technical Lead. And they're playing very annoying Green Day music. I mean to say, who over the age of 12 listens to fu*king Green Day?! It's fricking noise! NOISE!

Getting very annoyed now. Gasping for a fag.

And now they're discussing how come they don't see non-Microsoft ads in their Hotmail. Sigh. Deliver me.

I'm starting to second-guess my choice. Should have gone with Dinu.