"Give me a loan and leave me alone"

Out and about in Jaipur again today. Birla Planetarium closed. Went to Birla Mandir instead. First Hindu temple that I've seen with stained glass windows. Large marble clean hall. View of the Maharani Gayatri Devi palace up on a hill built like a Scottish castle. On to Amer.

Amber Fort. Overlooks man made Maota Lake and garden which were created to experiment growing saffron in Rajasthan. Tourists on elephants being carted to the top. We drove. Built in the 1500s. You enter into Jaleb Chowk which is the large courtyard where the soldiers used to present arms. Large staircase leading to the Siva Devi temple and above to Ganesh Pol decorated with many frescoes using natural paints (green from spinach, yellow from turmeric, blue from indigo) which are still vibrant. Into the Diwan-e-aam above which is the Suhag Mandir through which the royal wimmen used to apparently shower flowers on the king. Through this to the private quarters and Sheesh Mahal covered with lovely Belgian mirrors all over meant to reflect candle light through colored glass for the royal disco. Across the garden is the Sukh Niwas with a channel of water that runs through through over ridged ramps that then evaporates and creates coolth. Through this to the Zenana where the king's 12 wives lived, each in an apartment of their own. Small rooms in an open plan with secret passages to the king's apartment. Got proper lost there - entered through first apartment and came out through the 5th. Main queen had her own bathing pond and latrine which begs the question... It's also the only one with frescoes on the ceiling.

Checked out the bookstore there. Lots of pretty books on history of India and Rajasthan and Hinduism but sadly cannot carry books in baggage. Also lovely hand-painted wall hangings. Might change mind tomorrow and buy some anyway. Went to the Emporium in Amer town and bought a sari and a pashmina razai which they will ship to Boston for free. Hoping have not been fleeced and that it indeed arrives by the 13th as promised - also because sari and razai are both stupendously lovely. Jewelery is very expensive so dinna buy any. Have figured out that turning into Dilli ki aunty is best way to quibble over prices. Must use same strategy tomorrow.

Stopped by Jal Mahal on the way back and made friends with little boy who really wanted to show me magic tricks. This was the summer palace in the middle of man made 5 foot deep Man Sagar Lake built in the 18th century. Sadly closed to the public but was told they're opening it up next year. Would be nice to take a boat in to take a look. On the other side of the lake are the Aravalli hills and the prison.

Stopped at Thomas Cook on the way back to the hotel for tomorrow's shopping extravaganza. Put your orders in now.

Left foot is doing nerve pain thing so in bed with the tele on. Very disturbed by the sight of a very dyed Naseeruddin Shah being ashleel with Vidya Balan. Don't know which is worse - Shah pretending to be young and sexy or Balan pretending to be Silk Smitha. Must change channel now and rip out eyes.

Biryani for dinner I think.

The wonderful thing about watching Tamil movies is that you don't have to know the language to get it

All heros transcend time. 50 year old uncles can be college students and can squash 20 men and slice a bullet (or a cucumber) with a blade. During every song sequence, the hero will put his hands together for a namaste with a wink. The sidekick will always try his luck with the hottest girl in college and be rejected with multiple slaps. The gang of villains travels in a well-stocked SUV with readily available cycle chains, knives and glass bottles. When it's time for good-guy-bad-guy face-off, the hero will yell "DAI!" and point a finger at the bad man with a frowning brow and eyes all popping out. This is a cue for his shirt buttons to mysteriously open. After eventually emerging victorious, the girl will kiss him chastely on the cheek and fans will blow his his face to have his hair indicate joy.

Also, Rajnikant will never age.

Guests don't bring potatoes

It's amazing to wot lengths I will go to to avoid doing work.

So like, yesterday was fun. Watched OS 117: Le Caire nid d'espions yesterday with Nagina, Chi, Pey and Emily at the Kendall. Hilarious movie. I'd watch it again. Highly recommended. Jean Dujardin is not too heavy on the eyes either. After the movie we went to Tosci's (of course) where I, against my better judgement ate some ice cream and therefore was in tummy pain all the rest of the evening.

Then we bought Thai food and a bottle of champagne and lounged about on Emily's roof deck with fantastic views of the Charles and Cambridge. Her view is so much nicer than mine. Maybe I should move towards the river. Then we did dirty dirty things involving a Handi-Vac. Don't ask.

So like, remember that ROI presentation that's due tomorrow that I've been putting off for 3 weeks? I still haven't done it. But I did watch The Truman Show, took a 3 hour nap, watched Fiona caught on camera and cleaned the flat. Watching the 1996 Peter Gallagher Titanic now with a tomato salad and a lovely sunset.

Damn, suppose I should get to it then. How was the bonfire?

Bollywood mash-ups

You know, I've just realized

I like pretty much any movie that has the following words, phrases or characters:

• "It's on"
  
• "Bring it"
  
• "Eyeballs, what's the deal?"
  
• "Dive! Dive! Dive!"
  
• "You don't wanna fight me"
  
• Pirates
  
• S.W.A.T teams
  
• Helicopters
  
• Anybody with an accent that's not American
  
• Personal jets
  
• Cadillacs
  
• Fat Italian men
  
• Fat Italian women
  
• At least one entire scene of someone important cooking
  
• Anything in animal prints
  
• Will Smith
  
• Will Smith in animal prints
  
• Bribery, racketeering and/or murder
  
• Gangsters
  
• Shit that blows up
  
• Vampires
  
• Cool music
  
• Tunneling
  
• Teams that take out security stations
  
• Narcs
  
• Iguanas
  
• Military
  
• Automatic weapons
  
• People who get smuggled in coffins
  
• Men named Carlos
  
• "We are 100% go"
  
• Robot cars
  
• Exploding robot cars
  
• Explosions
  
• Rap music
  
• Stealing
  
• Infra-red light
  
• "Get me the American beetch!"
  
• The Russian Mafia
  
• The Italian Mafia
  
• The Columbian Mafia
  
• The Cuban Mafia
  
• The Irish Mafia
  
• Rocket launchers
  
• "We've got company"
  

Now, if I could only find the one movie that has all the above, I'd finally buy a movie.

My lips are very pink

Here I sit loftily on my bed propped up with pillows wrapped up in a blue blanket looking out the window at the distant sky listening to sad French love songs shivering with fever sipping Theraflu craving a cigarette and a cuddle.

Atlanta next week. La vie en Rose is a very good movie.

Oh please lord, make it go away

Advantage Mid-caps

They didn't want to go out when they woke so I popped off to Tamba to get a box full of desi food while they sat at the table gazing out at the dancing fountains all ruffled in their pjs and robes. Of course, that meant that at 3:30 am we were all wide awake. Well they were awake, I was sleepy but that means diddly squat with you're with the Family. So off we went to explore the Blackjack tables (the Baccarat Bar was closed and we bored of Roulette). Did some shopping the day after. Saw the Steve Wyrick magic show where I put a knitting needle through a pane of glass - very exciting. Pops had his picture taken with the magician which I'm pretty sure was the highlight of his trip. Left Vegas on Saturday for NYC.

Sadly Pops has been tired and sleepy most of the day so we haven't done much (other than clean the kitchen, go out to get groceries, make shawarmas for lunch and watch Kal Ho Na Ho three times - once regular, once with the director's commentary and once again in scenes and pieces. I'd have called the Somster but he's in India trying to hide the fact that he's screamingly gay and living with a man (hai! hai!) in Manhattan. I told him he could marry me and that would take care of both our problems but he is skeptical.

Maybe I'll call the Tran-o-tron and go visit her cats. Or maybe I'll go back to the couch and watch the poker tournament with Pops. I could clean Black Cobra's sty but I'm afraid of wot I'll find under piles of things. Poker is best, methinks.

Lord I need to get back to work. I'm tired of vacationing and I've got more than an entire month left. Ugh, ennui.

Back to Boston on Wednesday with a stop in New Haven.

Oh fer Pete's sake

The strange thing about being done with finals is that one is besieged with conflicting emotions. On one hand, we're pleased we don't have to study anymore. On the other hand, we're bored out of our minds. Yes, I know it's only been a few days but I can't just sit around with nothing to do.

Wednesday evening celebrations started at Cornwalls (where else), moved on to An Tua Nua with some very bad singing on the karaoke and then back to Cornwalls (where else). I should have bought stock in that place. Didn't drink much since was still a bit hungover from the day before (which would explain the C I get on that final) and pottered on home at 10:30. Did brunch at the diner with Khan on Thursday, bummed around, drank some more. Went for a whisky tasting at the Lenox with Peter and a few others. That was fun. I was ushered into the room by a screamingly gay waiter in pink underwear under his requisition blacks prancing around with a giant white feather. A Chivas Ginger was thrust into my hand, a crab cake into my face and the party was on. Glitter bikini-clad women with giant feathers on their heads popped up and jiggled around much to the delight of all the sad suits and the cabana boys obliged the other sad suits. Can I just say, there's nothing sadder than a 35-yr old investment banker who desperately wants to get laid. Man or woman. I did learn a little bit about whisky and a few very bad Scottish jokes (Why do Scotsmen chop their toes off? To get closer to the bar) and got to sample some 18-yr old Scotch. Very nice. Then Peter and I couldn't take the man in the skirt yelling at DJ Certified Bananas to "pump up the volume, you slimy bastard" anymore and we pottered off to the Hong Kong at Fanueil Hall. On the way out we bumped into Mr. and Mrs. Shaw, freshly arrived from Scotland, a lovely 70-ish year old couple, all wrinkly and kind looking who Peter promptly told to go to Newport, RI and leave the wife at home. After this piece of shocking behaviour we giggled our way to Government Center where at the Hong Kong, more booze was consumed while Pete and Aaron (who runs a belly-dancing supplies shop, how exciting) told me stories of floating down rivers in inner tubes of tractor tires carting about 800 cases of beer. These stories proved too much for me at one point and I insisted we play bar-side games and so we spent a massive fortune in quarters at the nekkid wimmen version of Where's Waldo with self always getting the bits about the chick's hair at which point Aaron deemed me unworthy (since I couldn't spot a boob) and shoved me into a taxicab with a teriyaki on a stick. All in all, a good time was had by all.

Did brunch at the diner with Khan on Friday, scorned the drink, bummed around at Harvard Ave Cafe and finally started reading Jews, God and History (Max Dimont), purchased August 2006 at Denver airport but never had time to open. Interesting book. Very complicated. Khan, bless him, ordered a Vanilla Soy Matte which turned out to be the worst piece of crap I've ever tasted that has been served in a cup with foam. If you are ever faced with it, decline. Do so expeditiously and be not lured by curiosity. It's a horrible drink. Dre had her birthday party here last night and while the upside is that the apartment looks very pretty, cosy and clean, the downside is that people decided that they wanted to pop crackers at 3:30 am INSIDE the apartment. This is because they were stupidly drunk and had to be shepherded outside onto the street where they promptly became Someone Else's problem. Didn't sleep very well last night. Had strange dreams. Lay about, reading, mostly. Still is nice to be in bed swiping one's leg against soft cool sheets, know wot I mean? Khan was mumbling something about how marbles are the fifth dimension but he was in a food coma after having visited that den of vice, India Dhaba, so we forgave him. I did watch Anita and Me yesterday on brilliant NetFlix. Good movie. Nicely done.

I couldn't lie in bed anymore so I've moved to the couch. It's gotten windy, cloudy and 59 degrees suddenly. My wind chime by the window has orchestral aspirations and the curtains billow more often than they did yesterday. I shall sit here now, in my jammies, and read my email and watch Saturday morning cartoons with my cuppa sulaimani. Only two things on the official agenda - Swimming and Giselle at the Boston Ballet. That is if I can get tickets. Although considering the rate at which funds are being depleted from underneath my mattress, I prolly should lay low and cheap until Vegas. Oo, that sounded dirty.

Need more tea.

"Darling, I could never be your mother"

The wonderful thing about being on vacation with Bi and Vijlet is that you never have to worry about anything. It's the perfect step-out-of-the-plane into open arms scenario. Very heartwarming.

So the flight from Boston was delayed by 1.5 hrs because of bad weather in Chicago (it was drizzling). As we waited at the boarding gate and I watched Gilmore Girls Season Two Disc Two, my ears were assaulted by the sounds of loud and rather rude conversation. There was this one guy talking to another chap and a cow of a woman who were yelling speech at each other even though they were standing together. It was very annoying. They went on to complain about United, how the service is always bad, how they're always late, how their stock prices should be falling, how the company should just fold and go away because they're the devil-incarnate and how United has a personal agenda to make their life miserable. On full volume. In the middle of the boarding area. I wanted to slap them. So then, they were asked to keep it down by the woman sitting next to me working on her laptop and the main obnoxious bastard, without breaking the flow of conversation, actually glanced at her derisively and said, "sorry to interrupt your AOL chat session lady". I wanted to slap him. Then he looks at me and winks. I really wanted to slap him. I looked him up and down and made wot I hope was a face of distaste and went back to Gilmore Girls, wanting to slap him.

So we board. The nice United man moved my seat from 20E to 6F which is always nice. There was a man with a heavy German accent sitting one seat away with, unfortunately Obnoxious Man in front. No matter, I said. I shall put my headphones on and read my book and not let him bug me I said. German Accent Man had very odd boots on. They were heavy, almost like military boots and he was wearing dark green trousers, a brown shirt with a long brown coat. He walked funny too. Very stiff. He had a briefcase - a brown patent leather bit of business. He was short. With a toothbrush moustache.

I'll let that all sink in, shall I? So anyway, GAM spent the entire flight staring at me as I napped. It was very disconcerting. Well probably not the entire flight but every time I woke up he was looking at me. I had bad Hitler dreams.

So then I wake up at a point and I see we're about 20 minutes to land so I buzz mine hostess to get a drink and OM in front yells out that he wants another whiskey (another?! it's a two hour flight!). She brings it to him glaringly. He strangely realizes that he's lonely and must commune with his fellow man and gets onto his seat on his knees and peers over at me exuding whiskey breath. I ignore him, waving my hand in front of my nose. He begins to speak and sadly I can hear him through my headphones. I take headphones off and look at him questioningly. He grins like a deranged monkey. I say, "What?" He says, "What's that you're reading over there?" I say, "It's a novel concept. It's call a book." He swigs whiskey. I resume reading. "Is that the Osama fellow?" I look at cover where there is nice picture of Sidney Poitier. "How does this look like the Osama fellow?!" "Well he's black in't he?" I look at him in awe of his stupidity. He swigs more whiskey. I say, "this is Sidney Poitier, yes, Barak Obama is also black but that means nothing in this context and Osama is the man they're trying to find, I hardly think he would have written a book that has the words 'a spiritual autobiography' on the cover that could be bought at any bookstore in the US." He swigs more whiskey obviously not comprehending. I want to slap him. Seat belts need to be fastened and he goes away. I shake my head. GAM is smirking at me. I look out of window hoping for quick landing and speedy exit. We land. Everybody stands up to queue in the aisle to leave. I don't. (I'm in a window seat and there is no question of having enough head room for me underneath the oxygen mask compartments to be able to stand straight and they haven't opened the doors yet so why bother). OM leans over and barks, "so you're going to Minneapolis?" Same flight was carrying on. No, I says, I'm getting off at Chicago. "This is Chicago" he says. I want to slap him. "Hey give me your number so we can hook up sometime" he says. Mind you, he's dressed like any other travelling salesman in his khaki pants and blue shirt and striped tie with grey jacket and looks about 35. "You've got to be kidding me," say I. He does not respond but as he walks down to the exit he is heard clearly muttering, "stupid c*nt... needs to get laid". At which point I tapped on his shoulder and when he turned around, I slapped him. Then I picked up my bag, pushed him aside and walked out of the plane. I think I saw the air hostess grin at me in sister solidarity. Now, I'm not the slapping kind but I have to say that was quite satisfying. I highly recommend it.

Vijlet was there to pick me up and towards their new home we went (Lincoln Park, beautiful duplex condo, very nicely painted). Bi was there waiting with open arms and lots of yakking was done over some wine and very spicy lamb curry.

Yesterday we went to Devon St. for some shopping for the home and then to watch Eklavya and eat Indo-Chinese at Hot Pot Kitchen. Very delish food. Very disappointing movie.

Time has shifted ahead this morning and as usual I'm up at the crack of dawn waiting for the bedroom door to creak open and footsteps to be heard on the stairs going towards the tea preparation area.

Hello! I hear water being poured into a kettle. That's my cue.

As seen on TV

What is it about Sunday movies? I've seen Barbara Streisand's The Mirror Has Two Faces and now I'm watching Never Been Kissed and they have this unsettling undercurrent. If you spend most of your life being unpopular because you're a geek, you'll be alone in your 20s and 30s but that will have given you lots of time and opportunity to study hard and do double PhDs and so then you'll be brilliant and still live at home with your mother and then suddenly one day some guy will come up and want you for your plainness and brains and then you'll discover makeup and the gym and become all svelte and sexy and then the movie ends. I mean, is this supposed to make us geeky girls feel better about ourselves?

Yes, I know, I could always switch the tele off but that would mean having to work on my paper and study for midterms and I really don't want to do either.

Oh and I've watched so many of the Space Bag and Proactive ads that I have convinced that I actually need them. I mean who wouldn't want to manage their closet space and have clear skin?

Your mission

should you choose to accept it, is to rent this movie and watch it.



Oh come on, you know you want to!

Casino Royale - 8 thumbs up

Played hooky today and went to see Casino Royale with James, Bryan Adams and Pey. Very good movie. Highly recommended. Daniel Craig is gorgeous. He has the thighs of a god. The stunts are frickin' awesome. The one-liners are brilliant. That movie is so good, I'd buy it.

The happy bits in the movie (don't worry, I won't ruin it for you) were about 20 minutes longer than they should have been but can I just say, the scenes with Craig and Eva Green (the shower scene and the drowning scene) made me absolutely ache inside. No, really, they did. Daniel Craig is actually a very good actor. He does sometimes look like his face is stuck in a perpetual moue but there's something about him that makes his acting compelling. I can't quite pin it down. I think it's the eyes. They're very reflective. Perhaps it's the fact that he doesn't smile much and then when he does, it's so beautifully eye-poppingly spontaneous that you believe it's real.

The clothes in that movie are lovely. It made me fell like such a frump in my jeans. Craig's wardrobe person deserves an award or something. The music was mediocre. It did the job. The opening number for previous Bond movies have been so strong, this one just seemed lacking. The locations were snappy. The casting for the bad guys was very good. The nakedness was... well, not enough. Eva Green's makeup (and accent) was atrocious. The fight scenes are very nicely directed. The website is fairly annoying. Every click seems to open a new window. Which is daft. If you're going to first launch a new browser window to a Flash website then why do your links launch further browsers for HTML content? Daft. Also saw the trailer for the new Spiderman movie. Dude! I think I had a mini orgasm. Well then Daniel Craig came on screen and I had about 18 more.

I shall see it again soon.

Went to eat at that Turkish place with Pey after and reminisced about the good old days when there was a diner in every neighborhood. Decided to form a 'Bring back the Diner' action group but then decided that we were too lazy. Went to the grocery store after to get cake because Pey wanted dessert. He then proceeded to make suggestives moves on a box of unsuspecting mini carrot cakes while I ogled the shinyness of the chocolate cream rolls. We ended up getting a bundt cake and Propel water.

Was s'posed to go to Avalon to see Cedric Gervais play with the Eastern Bloc but didn't get much sleep last night (thanks to Random Lifer) (btw, I'm sorry I fell asleep in the middle of a conversation - it was rather odd that you were still there 2 hours later) so decided not to.

Watching Jeopardy, the college edition. There's this wicked smart desi guy on from I don't know where but Pico from Stanford makes me wanna take cold showers. Dude, I don't know if you've seen this show but they guys know a helluva lot.

I shall now finally watch Munich.

Angoor

"Bahadur, jabh maine tujhe kaha tha ke kamre se bahar mat nikalna, to tu zabzi mandi kyon gaya tha?!"

"Mooli lene"

"Mooli kyon lene gaya tha?!"

"Aap ne hi to kaha tha, ke shaam ko mooli ke parathe khane hain."

"Mooli ke... MOOLI KE PARATHE?!"