Thursday, December 20, 2007

I fought the gold canopy and I won

You will be pleased to learn that I actually did, on the way back home, get stuck in traffic to drive to the airport to pick up another car which is indeed much nicer and has essential things like fog lamps and functioning wipers. There's your lesson for the day - don't rent from dinky rental shops. The airport has a lot more cars.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

It's true

So like, I got a flat tire today. This may have been because I drove over a chunk of ice that was masquerading as a harmless chunk of ice but in fact was concealing some tire death in its shiny grip. The 'check tire pressure' light went on in the dashboard and I went on the freeway. Before you yell at me for driving on the freeway with a bum tire, let me remind you that there is no place to pull over on Storrow Drive and that there is a greater chance of being found by a patrol car on the freeway. Which is wot happened about 3 seconds after I pulled over to the side on the freeway. The cop graciously told me I had a flat. It took all my self-control to keep a straight face. He called me a tow truck. It took me 8 minutes to get into the cab of the tow truck. The tow truck man nicely changed my tire (thank you MassPike Authorities). Moira from Hertz nicely directed me to the nearest Hertz location where there was a nice red car waiting for me. Sadly it does not have power windows or locks as requested but it's only for a week and I guess I can live with that.

So I now have confirmation that my tax dollars are indeed at work and that having Gold status means nothing at Hertz.

Traffic blues

So like, when you're driving down the freeway and traffic is moving at approximately 2 inches per minute do you also look in the rear view mirror and start thinking about the chap in the car behind you?

You know, think about where they're going, where've they been, wot they had for lunch, how cute they look in that Christmas sweater, who they're talking to on their cell phone, wot are they thinking about you, how romantic it is that you two (and about 80 thousand other people) are stranded on this freeway and the moon is shining off the snow, why they're still talking on their cell phone when they should be gazing into our eyes via the rear view mirror too, how fickle men can be, how to best primp your hair and apply emergency makeup to appear more attractive in the rear view mirror, wot the best song is to sing so the mouthing of the words will prompt him to reciprocate and soon you'll both be singing the same song listening to the same radio station, why he's still talking on that cell phone, who's he cheating on you with on the cell phone and why does she make him laugh like that, why he's startled that you've started to back up slowly with a maniacal gleam in your eye, why he's changing lanes in the middle of a traffic jam, wondering if it's because you made threatening gestures at his tires, singing sad songs on the radio and deliberately not looking at him in the side-view mirror... you know, that general sort of thing.

You don't? Yeah, erm.. me neither.

Monday, December 10, 2007

When in doubt, order a sammich

Tuna salad
Ceasar salad
Seasoned croutons
Pasta salad

This, while tasty individually, is an awful combination of things to eat at the same time. Especially for lunch.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Here's a novel idea

David Droga, the creative big and founder of the start-up Droga5, is working with the New York City Department of Education to solve the age-old problem of students viewing academic achievement as uncool or irrelevant. The program skips the lectures and public-service announcements and instead involves giving away to each student free mobile phones packed with learning tools such as a thesaurus, spell checks and an extra-help tip line. The more a student uses these learning applications, the more rewards -- discounts for movies, sneakers, clothes and music downloads, as well as air-time minutes and text messages -- are unlocked.

AMEInfo reports

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have bought Ethiopia off the coast of Dubai in Nakheel's 'The World' development, according to UAE-based web site Ahlanlive. The couple intend to use their home as an eco-development. No price tag was given for the island, which are reported to be fetching up to $50m.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Khelo te tashan naal

I'm stealing desi ads from Resh. But they're just so funny.

That has got to be the best tagline I've ever heard.

Sometimes I like to post things just so I know they'll be here when I want to reference them later

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Black Cobra Hello gets married in January

I thought you might want to know.

NetSuck Gala and other things

Oh, yes, I forgot to tell you, I went to the Annual NetSAP Gala thingy at the Omni Parker House. Now the Omni Parker House is supposed to be this wonderful historic place but in the mad rush to get there and endlessly circling around and around the damn place, we forgot to notice. See wot happened was that Em was busy working and didn't finish until late and I was lifting weights and wasn't really that keen on going so we ended up leaving late and then went to his place so he could get into his shiny kurta and got lost a few times and by the time we got there it was past 9 and the comedy show was over. On the bright side, the speeches and prize-givings was also over so it sort of worked out in the end.

There were an inordinate number of shiny women there.

All the smart women were busy dancing in a circle to make conversation (their mustaches were intimidating anyway) and all the twits were too shiny and giggly to make conversation with which meant that Em and Champion spend most of the time stupidly grinning at me. Most of the men were too short and by default don't speak to heavyset wimmen especially when they're busy being ADD-ed with all the shiny women around so while I tried to speak to random chaps and make friends, I spent most of the time glaring at Em and Champion. That combined with the fact that I was driving meant no booze and definitely no fun for Wolfie. Then they all pottered off to some bar and I inisited on going home. Which was a good move on my part because I got a lot of work done. I cleaned up and put the laundry away and ironed clothes and wotnot. Em staggered back home at 3 am and I was all set to take him to Ihop but he looked too grumpy.

The next weekend we then proceeded to have a fight over silly things which led to lots of crying and shouting followed by some sort of psychological breakthrough on my part and swollen eyes the next morning. All in all, a regular day's work.

And now again Thanksgiving is upon us. I shall try not to think about all the work I have to do this weekend and instead get a pedicure (and a manicure), go get fitted for shoe inserts at the doctors', buy new running sneakers, run, meet Shah for dinner and watch Darjeeling Ltd.

The fun is upon us! I can smell it!

Dubai Real Estate Ad Takes Record For Biggest Outdoor Ad Ever

It kind of makes sense that a country that can afford to put snow in the desert is now also hosting the largest ad ever. The spot is for Sorough Real Estate and covers over 20,000 square meters (the size of more than two soccer pitches).

Bollywood mash-ups

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

All hail the large pink menancing kangaroo

So like, I went to see the Aussie Pink Floyds last night and can I just say... not bad. Not bad at all. Pretty freakin' good actually. As usual I was excited and wanted to get there an hour early to beat the lines but either it was because we actually did get there an hour early or there was such good crowd management that I didn't actually wait in line. We parked in the Shaw's parking lot and so of course I was fretting about having to rescue the car from the tow lot because of course everybody at Shaw's is watching you enter and exit the shop and is keenly aware that you are abusing their 2 hour parking limit. Khan actually hit me over the head when I expressed such concerns.

So I had #24 and they had #s 5 and 6 and you would think that grown men and women would understand the everybody-move-over-one concept but we actually had an usher come to sort out the fuss because people got confused. Remind me not to be smart at a Pink Floyd tribute show. These people have obviously smoked up what little grey cell power they had. Anyway, two chaps were talking too loud behind us so we moved away to emptier sections. Yes, I had trouble hearing the music. Yes, even at that volume. Look it IS possible. Section 113, Row P, Seats 5 and 6 shame on you for ruining opening riffs for me. Floyd music is all about the damn opening riffs.

So after all this excitement, I actually fell asleep for bits of the first half. Before you get all up in arms about it recognize that everybody knows that the first half is rubbish and it's only after the break when the band's had a chance to drink some and smoke some do they truly get into their element. And speaking of smoking some, the fog in the arena was quite think with fumes can I just say. It still surprises me when folks light up at concerts in the States. I mean, it's more illegal here than in India isn't it? Anyway, I didn't smoke any if that's wot you're thinking. I was scared my dentist would yell at me.

Wot?! Good gum health is important. Mustn't neglect the gums.

Can I just say, I think Steve Mac is bloody brilliant. He sounds just like David Gilmour. They did try to put their own spin on some stuff but quite frankly they need to stay true to the original.

All in all a good time was had by all in the second bit. That coupled with the lamb shawarma I had for a midnight snack and the memories of kicking some serious ass at work earlier made for a very satisfying day.

Monday, October 29, 2007

I want to be Johnny Kalsi

More than I want to do him. Is that so wrong?

Sunday, October 28, 2007

You know, I've just realized

I like pretty much any movie that has the following words, phrases or characters:

  • "It's on"
  • "Bring it"
  • "Eyeballs, what's the deal?"
  • "Dive! Dive! Dive!"
  • "You don't wanna fight me"
  • Pirates
  • S.W.A.T teams
  • Helicopters
  • Anybody with an accent that's not American
  • Personal jets
  • Cadillacs
  • Fat Italian men
  • Fat Italian women
  • At least one entire scene of someone important cooking
  • Anything in animal prints
  • Will Smith
  • Will Smith in animal prints
  • Bribery, racketeering and/or murder
  • Gangsters
  • Shit that blows up
  • Vampires
  • Cool music
  • Tunneling
  • Teams that take out security stations
  • Narcs
  • Iguanas
  • Military
  • Automatic weapons
  • People who get smuggled in coffins
  • Men named Carlos
  • "We are 100% go"
  • Robot cars
  • Exploding robot cars
  • Explosions
  • Rap music
  • Stealing
  • Infra-red light
  • "Get me the American beetch!"
  • The Russian Mafia
  • The Italian Mafia
  • The Columbian Mafia
  • The Cuban Mafia
  • The Irish Mafia
  • Rocket launchers
  • "We've got company"

Now, if I could only find the one movie that has all the above, I'd finally buy a movie.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while

I've had to spend some time healing. I'm well on my way now so maybe I'll get on it shortly.

I haven't been completely useless while I've been away. I have learnt the following:

  1. Physical therapists are all illegitimate children of the Devil who don't understand the meaning of the words, "don't do that, it hurts".

  2. Firemen are very hot and very chivalrous regardless of which precinct they belong to or how old they are.

  3. I like mobikes more than I thought I did.

  4. Injections in the tough part of the heel of your foot hurt more than you'd think.

  5. I have very limited night vision and should avoid driving at night especially in the rain and I would like to sincerely apologize to all the smelly undergrad geeks at MIT who are all also apparently blind AND completely oblivious to road crossing laws.

  6. I now live in Mass. and the motorist has absolutely NO right of way. Even on highways.

  7. Physical therapists are all illegitimate children of the lawless mistress of the Devil who don't understand the meaning of the words, "no, I can't do that, it hurts".

  8. There is no polite, clean or ladylike way to eat a burrito. Even when armed with a knife and fork.

  9. Going out for burrito lunches with your boss will result in incessant teasing for the rest of the day because you will not be able to eat your burrito in a polite, clean or ladylike way.

  10. The BBC's online radio player sucks. By which I mean that it is engineered with fuckall inferior technology and the IT crew there should jump off the nearest bridge because they have brought shame to the media industry.

  11. Punjabi Hit Squad rocks.

  12. I want to have Nihal's babies... lots of them.

  13. It is ALWAYS a bad idea to make sudden jerky movements when your doctor comes at you with a giant needle aiming for your jaw.

  14. NSAIDs will cause nausea regardless of the dosage or quantity of food consumed along with.

  15. Orange juice is very bad for nausea.

  16. DJ Sanj will never go out of style.

  17. Physical therapists are wonderful people who have all sorts of drugs, tools, practices and tricks to fix your body after it's been battered and bruised by the ravages of time and stupidity. That and they're deaf to cries of pain.
Listen to desi dirtiness. I shall write more later.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

World news report from Black Cobra Hello

Dad and I went to Karachi Darbar and got food... everyone at KD was quite pleased to see him. Dad sent the Citibank delivery fellow back because he came home and asked for proof of identity at which point Dad showed him the nameplate on the door but he wanted some other proof than that so Dad said no and then when he recounted the story at KD all the kabab makers agreed with him so Dad said from now on he will call the Citibank delivery guy to deliver him something at KD only where all the kebab makers can vouch for proof of identity.

Monday, October 01, 2007

All I got are expenses

"...constant blogging strikes me as more than gratuitous self-promotion. Clinically, it's more like hysteria." – Steve Weiss, Scottsdale, AZ

Sunday, September 16, 2007

"Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun"

It's a bit funny but I just noticed that the view out of my living room window looking at the blue sky with clouds looks EXACTLY like the opening frame in The Simpsons show.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

"My engineer spends 70% of his time on data and 70% on voice"

So like, here I am again. The only time I get to blog is when I'm stuck at the airport waiting for a flight to land so mine can take off. And such is the case today. There was this teeny bit of torrential rainfall at 3:30 so my 6 pm flight is delayed 2 hours. This is because since it was raining, no flights could land in Atlanta. Which somehow means that no flights could take off from Charleston, South Carolina to land in Atlanta to take me to Boston. Why is this? Why do flights not take off if their destination is being rained on? Do they not know that by the time they are ready to land, the clouds will have moved on? Don't we have weather systems to predict this? Aren't there people who make weather their day jobs?

It's all very suspicious.

Well, let's see. Wot have I been up to. Well, I moved in to the new place. Everything is still in boxes and hopefully will get sorted this weekend. Went white water rafting on the Dead River in Maine on Labor Day weekend which was fun. Rented a car and went for a drive-about to Lexington last weekend to Sleepy Mouse's end of summer party. Caught an impromptu movie on the way back (Chak de India) (wasn't bad).

The Atlanta engagement is getting hairier by the hour. Systems are deployed and have to be patched because they have a bug. Other Systems just decide to randomly topple over. It's all very challenging. The Director changes his mind every other day. That's even more challenging. I'm trying to get out of there before the Network dies or some silliness of that sort happens. Aiming for end of next week but I might be extended for some eTOM/NGOSS funkiness for a couple of weeks thereafter.

On the plus side, by the end of next week, I'll get Gold status at Starwood Hotels. I will have to endure the Sheraton for two nights though. Still, shouldn't be that bad.

I should unpack the boxes if only to get at the many books I still haven't read. I could breeze through an entire box in no time if flights keep doing this to me.

Should prolly have a house-warming soon. Will you come?

Friday, September 07, 2007

This road runs parallel parallel parallel parallel all the way to the highway

Once in a while a flight leaves on time,
Giving me a reason to rhyme!
If I leave Atlanta at six,
In a shake and two licks,
I could possibly be home in time to dine!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

People of Middle Georgia! Unite!

Overheard at the water cooler:

Andy: Wolfe, why have you marked my project red? It's not overdue.
Wolfe: Because there is a strong possibility that it will be and we'd rather know now than later.
Andy: But that makes me look bad!
Wolfe: Not delivering always makes people look bad. Wot's yer point?
Andy: But it shouldn't be red, it should be amber.
Wolfe: Are you going to deliver on schedule?
Andy: Oh, no way, there's 0% chance.
Wolfe: That's why it's red, Andy.

Ah, the joys of PMO.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Ah, Atlanta

With its omnipresent fried chicken joints, most of them at the airport, assaulting my delicate nostrils with the aroma of all things bad for you.

I'm hungry.

On my way back home to Boston. Sitting at the very busy AirTran gate. Going white water rafting in Maine this weekend. And also moving boxes from bedroom into kitchen to make way for Meg's things to move into my room so Kim can move into hers. Advantage Realty (my godawful broker) was very pain-in-the-arse like with this entire getting me a new apartment experience and I swear it is the most useless $1650 I have ever spent in my entire life. If you're moving to Boston, beware the broker. I've never met one that was actually good. So boxes and heavy furniture has to be moved around this weekend and I actually get to move in on the 3rd. That move I have movers for. Now if I only had a doily IN the apartment, it wouldn't be so bad.

There's a storm moving in. Joy. I'll bet my 5:59 pm flight does not take off on time. Why I expect it to do so, I don't know.

I shall read my Wired now.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Belko goes home!

So like, three cities in one week. Very nice. I'm tired.

Lots of packing up house to do this weekend. In fact, ALL the packing up house to do this weekend for big impending move to Cambridge. Took ages to get out of Atlanta yesterday wot with traffic and freak thunderstorms. Didn't get to NYC until 1 am which took care of aspirations to eat fine Japanese food for supper on 3rd Ave.

Can I just say - you know those little air nozzles on planes above your head? I really hate those. They have this annoying way of blowing air in your direction even when they're not pointed at you. And why the hell don't airlines carry enough blankets for everyone?! I swear, American Airlines has a total average of 5.3 blankets in their entire US fleet. I shall take to travelling with cardigan and shawl like old rickety person.

The Chrysler building is nice but rather small on the inside. Also, something is very odd with these windows because I'm on the 30+ floor and I can still hear traffic and honking and sirens. There's a constant din in this city which makes it much like Mumbai and therefore, if you ask me, overrated.

Sadly, I have to leave for the airport soon for my flight to Boston and this weekend jaunt in NYC had to be cancelled due to mad last minute packing up of house so no Blue Room for me. Perhaps next time.

Can't wait to get home.

In other news, sprained ankle is doing well and healing nicely but twinges of pain in heel still remain. Watch this space for accounts of how I'm going to become the first bionic woman.

'tis a lonely life I lead

There was once a consultant named Barzini
And all she ever wanted was a martini
But instead from Atlanta she took a flight
And imagine puir Barzini's plight
A thunderstorm drowned her martini

So now she sits on the tarmac
For due to the training she lacked
They sent her to New York
A later flight! No lark
And woe, one less blouse she has packed

But hope!

Soon the clouds will clear
The man next to her will stop his leer
Airborne she will be
So desperately she needs to pee
A veritable force of nature, no fear!

So back to her song
No more Blackberry pong
For to Times Square we go
To stay at the Marriot, dontcha know
Perhaps to dine at the House of Fong!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Friday, August 17, 2007

Must not bitch-slap collegues

Even when they're being snotty and nasty and generally bitchy.

Can I just say though, it's nice to be back home in Boston. Landed last night. Flight was delayed 1.5 hrs (thank you AirTran) and went to bed tired and hungry thinking to myself that I'd better start getting used to this and that it was so nice to be back home in Boston. Heavenly Beds notwithstanding. Don't get me wrong, I love the Westin and the fact that I can lounge about nekkid but there's nothing like one's own satin sheets, knowwotimean? Sadly I don't think I'll have time to go sailing this weekend either.

I have an office to myself today which is nice so I don't have to worry about people peering over my shoulder and if dem bitches get really annoying, I can always close the door.

That ham and cheese croissant I had for breakfast was so good, I think I'll have another for lunch.

Lots of packing to do this weekend. Would be nice to get some friends together though. Wot are your plans?

Monday, August 13, 2007

I do like St. Paul's Cathedral

So, like, you'll be pleased to know (or not, given that you're in an obnoxious mood these days and don't care for my writings anymore) (in which case I wonder why you keep popping by) (because deep down inside you know you adore me) that I have scored a flat. Yessiree bob, I have me a very nice 1 bd/1.5 bth/bney/air/pkg unit right by Central Square for September on. Yay me. It was hell getting it and it's stupidly expensive but at least I'm not homeless and now all we have to do is pray I get the keys before 7 pm on Aug 31 or the movers will have moved me with me not having a place to move to. You are, of course, welcome to visit whenever you like. There will be fluffy towels and lots of chocolate biccies for you.

Was back from Atlanta Thursday night, ran around signing leases on Friday and flew to London Friday night. London is a fantastic city with some very fantastic people. Sadly, I did not get to meet Walshy but perhaps next time. There will be a next time. There will be plenty of next times for I feel strangely drawn to that town. Perhaps it has something to do with all dem chocolate biccies.

Spent the weekend with RK and his clan and the rest of my clan in Rickmansworth. Black Cobra was very pleased to see me as I was to see her and full of Norway stories (remind me to scan in the postcard from the North Cape). Mum bought me a black cardigan and two pashminas which was much appreciated for London can get chilly in the evenings. Pops was in top form which is always good to see. RK's family were loud and plentiful (as usual) and a jolly good time was had by all. Except on Saturday when I sprained my left ankle (yes, again) (don't start on my case now, I'll get the damn surgery when I have the time to get the damn surgery) and was sulking for most of the day. A few quick ones at the Peking Garden and I was alright though. Becoming a member of the Barracuda Club was an added bonus.

Then I went to Horsley in East Surrey for company induction with a bunch of very odd but also amusing people. Horsley, if you've never been there, is by far the smallest village I've seen in a developed country. The people at induction were fine enough and there were a few I wanted to slap a number of times (but didn't). There were also the token drunken half-wits who thought it would be good fun to stagger into sessions hungover and sullen and general pain-in-arses after spending the better part of the night standing on pub benches belting out dirty Swedish jokes about seamen and penises. There was this one awful day when I had to walk 45 minutes to find a shop that sells toothpaste and hobble back on a very swollen foot and the center was a little primitive but it had a castle and a moat and some nice countryside with sheep and lots of gourmet food with gourmet wine and all that so it wasn't so bad.

Back for the weekend in Herts with RK and clan with the highlight of the trip being a visit with The Bean who I've always secretly been in love with and more so now that I've re-found him after 2.5 years. Sadly, he's seeing Malay nephrologists and is therefore not available and that besides the fact that we live on opposite ends of a very vast ocean puts a damper in my plans to have as many babies as I possibly can with him.

Saw many a London landmark but I couldn't possibly tell you about any of them because..well... quite frankly I wasn't in the touristy mood at all. They were very beautiful and memorable but I don't remember them. I think I was a little lonely. Well, I think I was very lonely. Seeing Beans was good for that. I had forgotten how much we had in common and how alike we were. It was refreshing to reconnect with an old pal who I once used to proudly call my twin. He has done very well for himself and seeing him happy made me happy. It also made me envious but mostly happy. He did say something that resonated with me about putting down roots and how we kids from Dubai who are third nationals always wonder about where we come from and where we belong. Before I do so, however, I think I want to do some intense European travelling and possibly living. I need to see more of the world.

I'm at crowded Heathrow now surrounded by annoyingly loud children (why is it illegal to slap other people's nasty kids?) and my BTOpenZone signal is very weak so this post will have to wait until I get back to Boston to be posted.

I did see Bar de lune's 3 cd collection of Punjabi Lounge music at the Duty Free but I think I'll just download it online instead. Bloody hell, I've just remembered I've checked in my headphones. Looks like I'll have to put up with the horrid screamers a little longer.

Back to Atlanta tomorrow early am.

Leave me a nice comment this time.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Didja miss me?! Huh? Huh? Didja?

Look listen, before you get on my case for being a statistic, let me impress upon you the stresses of a travelling consultant. There are plenty. And stressful too.

So lets see, wot have I been up to. Well, since the new job started, I had been whining about being off the clock because while it was nice to take long leisurely lunches with Khan, it was starting to get annoying having to rip the cobwebs off my feet and someone must have overheard becuase next thing I know, He Who Looks Like Sleepy Mouse is shipping me off to Atlanta to shadow on a client site. Very nice I think to myself. Off I go and bang, I get sold. So now it's Atlanta till the end of September. I leave at the crack of bleedin' dawn on Mondays and I stagger back home on Thursday nights leaving me Fridays to make sure my access still works at the Bosotn office and hang out with Khan on the weekends. The travel takes a little getting used to. I have now joined the hordes of travelling consultants who, the moment the fasten seatbelt sign has been switched off, reach for their laptops and in the eerie blue glow work on complicated looking spreadsheets. And it's always spreadsheets you notice? Never anything else. Just to be different, I worked on Visio diagrams instead. Just let them try to pigeon-hole me now!

I stay at the Westin in Buckhead (you simply must say that out loud in a Southern accent like so - Buuukhayed) which is very lovely hotel overlooking the Lenox Square area where there are such fine establishments such as Macys, Bloomingdales and Computer Depot. Thanks to Starwoods, I get the coveted pink key to the executive lounge, that haven of free breakfast, booze and dessert. Always a joy to stay at a Westin. I highly encourage it. And I'll bet you didn't know that the Heavenly concept came out of an MBA case competition.

Today has been a stressful day. I landed in Boston last night from Atlanta and took the day off today. Not to put my toesies up (or in soaking hot water because by god they need it) but to run around in 95 degree weather looking for a place to live come next year. And after many a disappointing visit, I am pleased to report that I have found me one. Apartment that is. In Central Square. On Mass Ave. Next to a communist pub. It's a largish affair with a balcony the size of my ego on the 10th floor with lovely views. Hopefully the skunk that's in there now will leave before Aug 31 and they can clean it for me and I don't have to cancel the movers. Keep your fingers crossed (release them if they turn blue).

I did get jipped on the price though. Paying through my nose AND had to fork over a broker fee. This world is not fair sometimes. But still, at least I won't be homeless again.

I'm at the airpot now and thanks to the wonders of iPass have replied to important email, ignored the calls to send in work and am booking my flights to Atlanta for the next month. This way I can be ensured that elusive window seat.

I have done something rather stupid in that in the rush to pack and get to the airport in time to beat the Red Sox traffic, I've forgotten to pack my laptop docking station which means I have no disk drive thereby rendering the DVD I had to watch on the plane, useless. I shall now have to buy a book. Any recommendations? Better make 'em quick - flight leaves in 2 hours.

Yes, I'm actually 2 hours early for my flight. Lets just say I got tired of running from security to the other end of the blasted airport with 3 minutes to final call all this last month. Plus I swear this is the first time the check-in line was not spilling over around the block.

Oo, better find the money exchange and get some pounds. That's right, I forgot to mention where I was going. Sunny London. Only apparently its not sunny there at all, something I find out when I check the weather at Logan airport after I've checked in my bags and realize that I've packed rubbish clothes for the trip. Oh well, Marks and Spencer it is.

Pops, Mum and Black Cobra are in London fresh off their Norweigian cruise. They very kindly twisted the knife into my heart about not being there and sent me a postcard from the northernmost habitable point in the world in which aurora borealis was nicely mentioned. Blast it, I should have taken the summer off. Oh well. Such is life.

Lets see, anything else? That's pretty much it I think. The rest is all mundane everyday stuff which isn't that interesting anyway. Wouldn't want to risk putting Connecticut Yankees to sleep and all.

I do have to say that I miss Khan in all this. Wish I could take him with me but sadly his 6'2" frame stubboarnly refuses to fit in my carry-on. Should learn to sleep on planes so am not so tired when I land so I can hang out with him. I haven't really been able to enjoy the Boston summer with all the concerts and things in the parks. But then again, such is life.

Some poor sod's missed their flight to Ireland on Air Lingus (giggle). There's a woman over there teaching her son the correct French way to say Au Bon Pain. There's a woman sitting across from me who has fallen asleep and I'll bet you she was supposed to be on that Dublin flight. There goes another kid with those wheely shoes. I should get me a pair of those. Why aren't there any spas at airports? I really could use a pedicure and a foot massage.

Oh, did I mention, I went to The Police reunion concert at Fenway? It was brillant.

So, didja miss me?

Sunday, July 22, 2007

I hate phlegm

Dinner at Tasca's. Yay. Tapas always make me feel better.

My lips are very pink

Here I sit loftily on my bed propped up with pillows wrapped up in a blue blanket looking out the window at the distant sky listening to sad French love songs shivering with fever sipping Theraflu craving a cigarette and a cuddle.

Atlanta next week. La vie en Rose is a very good movie.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

"She's an MBA!"

It has been said that the entire business school experience can be broken into two parts: 1) Autumn quarter core, and 2) everything else.
This is the closest description to my own b-school experience I've come across. Nicely written and rings true. I'd recommend a read.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

I hate my phone

Nothing good ever comes from being on the phone. I swear, the day I have a nice normal conversation with a nice normal desi man on that phone I will buy drinks for the entire town. Isn't technology supposed to bring people together?!

Very frustrated now

Why can't I find normal nice desi men?! Why? Why? Why is every desi man I meet such a moron? Why? WHY?!?!?!?!?

Why the bloody hell am I still looking?! Why have I not given up yet? Wot the hell am I waiting for? It's not like it's going to happen. It's never going to happen.


That was a very uncomfortable conversation

I think I get in touch with you because I want to give you a chance to explain why things went awry. Ok, things didn't go awry, you treated my like crap but I'm in a polite mood today. But you never do explain. And it's not like you need me to call you to remind you to do that. I mean it's only polite to explain why you've been an absolute arse to the person you've been an absolute arse to. And admittedly I didn't say very many fabulous things as well but did it have to be so uncomfortable? It's very frustrating to feel like you're the only one trying to mend broken bonds and you get the feeling that nobody really cares and it's prolly best that bonds are broken but wot you morons who feel that way don't understand is that the ones who want to mend the bonds obviously don't want them to be broken. I mean is that so hard to understand? There goes my polite mood. No seriously, were you born wired with that idiot gene or does it come out of years of practice of being an arse to people? This is why I despise your kind. You're shallow and insensitive and moronic. Now you're going to be one of the many shallow, insensitive and moronic reasons why I stop caring about bonds - creating them or breaking them. I'm going to turn into that person who is an arse to people by not reciprocating when they reach out. In fact, I'm going to go one step further into arseness and be that person who doesn't even acknowledge when people reach out. There. You've turned me into you. Fabulous.

And wot is so bad about wanting to feel better about myself anyway?! Stupid moron. Wish I'd never met you. I hate saying that because I actually do think that it's never a waste when you meet people and spend time with them because you learn or you love or you give and get good stuff even when things don't work out but honestly, I really do wish I could turn back the clock and reject you when I should have accepted you and then we wouldn't be in this bloody mess in the first place. Correction - I wouldn't be in this bloody mess. From wot it sounds like, you don't even want to acknowledge there's a problem. Stupid moron.

I'm going to Jesse's place now for a lot of booze and some drunken Wii boxing and a lot more booze and I hope to God you trip and fall over yourself and bruise your bloody knee and there's nobody around to hand you an icepack. I'm one step closer to being done with the likes of you.

Stupid moron.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

*yawn* Boom baby

Back in Boston. Jet lag. Fatigue. Strange sensation of being in an alien city. It's hot here. I've just had soup for breakfast.

I think I'll go back to bed now.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

I've been sad for a while.

Not depressed mind you. Just sad. Like how you feel when the flowers die. The kind of feeling that make you tear up when you watch indian ads. Don't ask me why. Who knows why these things happen.

I thought if I blogged about it, it might make me feel better. But I've been staring at this screen for a while now and I can't think of how to put it. It's the Dubai bubble. It's that killer age - 29. It's the sand and the dust and the azaan in the morning. It's those chaps you fell in love with who moved on with someone they met after you.

Maybe it's the chaps. You ever dread getting emails or phone calls from those chaps? It's because you know that they only reason they ring you now is to tell you something good or something bad. It's not just idle chit-chat or catching up or shooting the breeze. You know them better than that and they know you would see right through them. No, the only reason they call is to tell you something monumental has happened. Like the birth of another baby. Or that they're getting married. To someone they met after you.

It's always the one after you, have you noticed? It is in my case. I must drive people to committment.

Then there are those that pop up unexpected when you had given up hope of seeing them again. Sometimes relationships mend themselves and snap back with renewed vigor. Those ones also I don't know wot to do with. Puts me in a tizzy. I start thinking about those chaps. Which is always a bad idea if you ask me. Thinking about chaps in general is bad and especially ones you had forsaken.

Then there are the ones that you wish you had never met. Because there is something about them that unsettles you. It's very illogical. They're perfectly normal people. I thought it would fade over time but, as I was so rudely reminded today, it doesn't. It stays the same. It might get worse actually.

There's something about Pinto that gives you pangs. Like I said, it's perfectly illogical. It's not like there'a anything wrong with him. He seems fine. Happy and healthy (besides an abnormally high cholesterol number and rapidly declining weight). It's those same pangs that fortell doom. You ever get those? Sometimes on a perfectly normal sunny day you'll know in your gut it's going to rain. I hate feeling like this because I know it's going to happen. It only compounds the sadness.

This doesn't make any sense. It shouldn't make any sense. It befuddles my mind and keeps me awake which confuses me further.

Gah. I don't know. I just don't know. It's all the spaghetti in my head.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

All together now!

Today would be a good day to buy me things.

Emirates Bank launches PayPass

Developed to provide high speed payment of small ticket retail transactions, the card is a modern, non-contact smart chip based credit card which will shorten the time spent queuing at retail outlets' check-out counters within Dubai Internet City.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Who reads Page 3?

Have you noticed this about the Gulf News Tabloid - there are lots of pictures of people on pages 3-6. Everyday. At some random event. There are a lot of smiley faces. Of all types. And all the people are captioned by their first name. Shelly and Richard. Robert and Madhu. Tina, Sudha and Miriam. Abdul and Abbas. Tell me something. Who are these people? Why are they in the paper? Are they close personal friends of Gulf News? Additionally, and this is the important one, why do I have to see their shiny boothas in the paper? Can this real estate not be used for a better purpose? Like an expose on seals and their fishing habits or something. Maybe a picture of a lion eating a hyena. I mean, one is as random as the other so you might as well show us something remotely interesting. Who reads page 3?

I've been busy lately. About halfway through the stamps, Pops decides to clean out the picture collection that we have stuffed in the drawer in the absolute last corner-end of the house. The reason why we put them there to begin with was because we didn't want to deal with them but with Mum gone, Pops couldn't resist the urge to throw some junk out of the house. That and it was Friday and he was bored. Why, then, since he was the one bored, did he not do it himself and dump it on my desk is beyond me. But that is how it happened. And then we went looking for proper photo albums to put the blasted things in. Which was a bad idea at 1 pm on a Friday afternoon with nothing to eat since my food intake is being regulated because everybody and their uncle is concerned about the latest (albeit temporary) weight gain since good boys don't want to marry fat girls and one thing led to another and I promptly contracted some form of heat stroke combined with a tea bag effect with a dip in glucose levels and had to be brought back home and laid in bed with fans blowing and my toesies in ice water. At which point Pops says in his most plaintive voice, "Do you think I'm too controlling? Because I can always stop." This is after he yells at me for being weak, tells me how he's not weak even with a bad heart, assures me that I'm a worthless person and how he must suffer because of it.

The heat stroke business resulted in two days of migraines because of which I was rather useless to the general public so it was for the best that Mum was away because we all know wot's it like trying to relax around her.

Mum has returned. I'm done with the pictures and have put them away. She's cleaning. I'm trying to stay away from her. She follows me with the Hoover. It is not helping my headache. I have put the stamps away since they were not helping my headache either. Pops sneaked out the house and let me to my fate. Abandoned by my own. Tch. Life.

Now would be a good time to find some friends and get out.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Because I couldn't be arsed

Lola: Dude! Where have u been?
Wolfe: hang on
Wolfe: yes hello wot
Wolfe: here i am
Lola: So look, like wot is the deal?
Wolfe: people are sick
Lola: You are free from June 26th to July 2nd?
Wolfe: and therefore time must be spent with them
Lola: Oh noooooooooooooooooooooooo
Lola: Your dad?
Wolfe: no
Lola: Is he okay?
Wolfe: he's fine
Wolfe: this is friend's mother
Wolfe: it's complicated
Wolfe: i'm still trying to get tickets booked
Wolfe: and i don't have my UK visa yet
Lola: UK Visa?
Wolfe: it's all very .. ugh..
Lola: For august?
Wolfe: yes
Wolfe: so here is the posish
Wolfe: first i have to get my UK visa
Wolfe: before i do anything else
Wolfe: which will determine when i can actually leave dubai
Wolfe: the latest being the 26th
Wolfe: earlier would be better
Wolfe: since that would mean more time in europe
Wolfe: however, the schengen takes 10 days
Wolfe: you follow so far?
Wolfe: so i can't get the schengen until i get the UK because if the passport is stuck at the schengen place, the UK will not get stamped and then I'll have to leave and it won't have happened and i won't be able to get it in the US in time to go to the UK and then they'll fire me and i'll be poor again
Wolfe: in all of this, RK's mother decided to get high b.p. and my mother had to be packed off to london with her to get emergency medical procedures done
Wolfe: are you with me so far or have i lost you?
Wolfe: now, i can't get the UK visa because i need a letter from The Company..
Wolfe: telling the british embassy that i'm not a terrorist
Wolfe: or a defector
Wolfe: that letter has not arrived yet
Wolfe: even after having requested it about a month ago
Wolfe: so therefore in summation, we're waiting for the HR woman at The Company to get her act together before we can enjoy the sunny beaches of greece
Lola: I'm here - still reading.
Wolfe: you can't be reading slower than i type
Lola: wot? we are still doing greece?
Lola: who is RK?
Lola: and what is Company?
Lola: and how badly do you want to slap me?
Wolfe: i use greece as a metaphor.. at this point, it doesn't matter..
Wolfe: RK is very good personal friend of the family who cannot be abandoned when his mother gets high b.p.
Wolfe: Company as in The Company.. my future employer and payer of massive monies to try and get me to not be poor again... ergo ->important people
Wolfe: I don't want to slap you..
Lola: awwww....
Wolfe: i wouldn't mind a merry jig around the table
Lola: lol
Lola: Wow - sounds like major complication.
Wolfe: high b.p. usually is..
Lola: But hopefully, The Company can convince UK embassy of your noble intentions in the US.
Wolfe: i would advise you, young lola, to watch out for that particular malady
Lola: Oh dear.
Wolfe: hopefully The Company can do it this century
Lola: How old is the mother?
Wolfe: 84
Wolfe: so my mother is now in london..
Lola: Well,that's not a surprise then.
Wolfe: she was rung up last night and this afternoon she pushed off
Wolfe: much like the high in demand global consultant we all aspire to be one day
Lola: you aspire to be.
Lola: I aspire to simply go to greece.
Wolfe: don't tug at my heartstrings, young l
Lola: oh sorry, did not mean to.
Lola: do not worry - all will be well.
Wolfe: greece
Wolfe: the land of olives
Wolfe: it's like mecca
Wolfe: wrapped up in filo
Wolfe: i saw a documentary on how filo is made and my eyes welled up
Lola: look listen -
Lola: do you know what your purpose in life is? if you do, happen by chance to know mine?
Wolfe: my mouth did too because i was greedily salivating at the prospect of encountering lebanese mithai in the near future but that is another matter
Wolfe: i know wot your purpose in life is
Lola: lebanese mithai! I love it.
Lola: wot?
Wolfe: it is to amuse me
Lola: ahh, I see.
Wolfe: (insert hideous laugh here)
Lola: I thought it would be to drive all myf riends crazy with my paranoia
Wolfe: we have no purpose, l.. our aim is to find happiness and salvation..
Wolfe: i shall export you some leb. mit.
Lola: nooo, I want to have a purpose.
Lola: Or at the very least, be famous.
Wolfe: you can be famous
Lola: I am afraid I shall die unwanted and unknown.
Wolfe: well..
Lola: I think that is my new thing to obsess about.
Wolfe: not to your near and dear.. which is always a good thing..
Lola: Because you know, I need a new thing every month.
Wolfe: well as long as you have an obsession goal
Wolfe: because, you know, you can't fully obsess without a clear goal
Lola: Yes?
Lola: true...
Lola: Well, I hope RK's mother is alright.
Lola: Or gets better.
Wolfe: i hope so too
Wolfe: i miss my mother
Wolfe: selfishly
Lola: Awwww
Wolfe: she will not return in time for my birthday
Wolfe: which isn't that big a deal since we will not do anything important.. but still..
Lola: Oh nooooooooooo
Lola: Well, I'll tell you waht.
Wolfe: wot?
Lola: When you come back Stateside, we'll do sth.
Wolfe: we should
Wolfe: in lieu of greece
Lola: We'll cut a cake and everything.
Lola: Maybe the cake can be made of filo.
Wolfe: in memory of filo
Wolfe: hah!
Lola: Well, all is not lost.
Lola: You could come back here and we could do Mexico, I spose.
Wolfe: i shall try and return soon.. i'm quite bored in dubai
Lola: Why?
Wolfe: sigh
Lola: I would love to be in dxb.
Wolfe: i'll have to get a visa for mexico
Lola: I have not been there is so long - I miss it.
Lola: I miss the good old days.
Wolfe: why can't i be an international citizen?
Lola: I need a visa for mexico too - silly.
Lola: I miss the old days when life was not complicated.
Wolfe: well.. seeing as i don't go anywhere or do anything fun and am either doing housework or being yelled at, it's not much fun
Lola: And all we did was run around and have harmless crushes.
Lola: And wear hideous clothes that were the fashion at the time.
Wolfe: yes.. those were good days.. but they were still stressful for me
Lola: Oh dear - yes that doesn't sound like fun.
Wolfe: quite frankly, it's better now
Lola: You are lucky.
Lola: You do not live in the past.
Wolfe: now i don't get yelled at that often since i don't live here that often
Lola: Because you appreciate your present.
Wolfe: my past wasn't that spectacular
Wolfe: my present is better
Lola: As opposed to Miss Obsession here....
Wolfe: you had a nice past
Lola: I suppose - I have been very fortunate.
Wolfe: i think having an obsession, especially a new one every month, is rather healthy
Wolfe: it is definitely decadent..
Lola: I miss you. Come back soon.
Wolfe: as soon as the damn HR woman gets the fear of God in her from my nasty emails
Wolfe: i shall ring her and yell at her soon if she doesn't pull her socks up
Wolfe: never met an HR person i liked
Lola: Yes, most are nasty.
Lola: My current HR person is quite nice, tho.
Wolfe: on the surface
Lola: Another reason I do not want to leave my job -
Wolfe: inside, they're all fishes
Lola: fishes?
Lola: like slimy?
Lola: with scales?
Lola: with gills?
Lola: with tails?
Lola: with fins?
Wolfe: with no soul
Lola: ahhhh
Lola: deep.
Wolfe: i am now watching this saxena woman from dove at the ad awards
Wolfe: she seems daft
Wolfe: i shall blog this conversation
Lola: why?
Lola: saxena woman?
Lola: what saxena woman?
Wolfe: because i haven't updated the blog in a while and this is a good account of life thus far
Wolfe: i shall blog this conversation
Lola: why?
Lola: saxena woman?
Lola: what saxena woman?

Pey: hello!
Wolfe: how goes?
Pey: eh. it goes. you? have you started your job yet?
Wolfe: no
Wolfe: i'm still in dubai
Wolfe: fed up to my eyeballs in vacation time
Pey: you are? i didn't know you were going
Wolfe: i went'
Wolfe: i am
Wolfe: here i be
Pey: so you did, are, have
Pey: you should have taken me with you!
Wolfe: as carry on?
Pey: you could have tucked me under your shirt
Wolfe: you have an armpit fetish now?
Pey: not under your armpit...jeez
Pey: are you bringing anything back for me from dubai?
Wolfe: erm..
Wolfe: harem girls?
Pey: that would be nice. how many can you bring? dubai girls are hot!
Wolfe: two
Wolfe: one under each arm
Pey: that might give them an armpit fetish. that'd be weird
Wolfe: or a smell
Pey: mmm, smelly harem girls...
Pey: YUK!!!!
Pey: don't screw this up!!!
Wolfe: pey, you're a very gross man
Wolfe: have you convinced anyone to hire you yet?
Pey: no, they all think i'm gross
Pey: or that I ask for too much money
Wolfe: lower your standards
Pey: and no one has been willing to give me a secretary or intern to work under me
Wolfe: did you mention armpits?
Pey: no but i think boobs came up
Wolfe: sigh
Pey: you didn't think we could get through this whole conversation without boobs coming up, did you?
Wolfe: one can always hope
Pey: soooo, since it's so hot over there, do you let those babies roam around free? heheh
Wolfe: sigh
Wolfe: go away
Pey: i will not!
Pey: when do you start? when are you coming back?
Wolfe: july 2, i don't know
Pey: that's a long time to be away from me. what will you do until then?
Wolfe: count my lucky stars?
Pey: i'll send you a picture of myself to put next to your bed
Wolfe: don't
Wolfe: my parents might get us married
Pey: i want seven kids, maybe a set of triplets
Wolfe: i ain't birthin' no babies!
Pey: just so you know, i'm planning on having several wives
Wolfe: i would expect nothing less from you
Wolfe: i'm planning on having a few myself
Pey: wives? maybe we can share.
Wolfe: no thank you
Wolfe: i don't want your cooties
Pey: i've been exercising my cooties. they look HOT
Pey: why are my conversations with you always so damn weird????
Wolfe: i bring out the best in people
Pey: clearly

And to top it off, I can't find a decent women's dive watch anywhere in this damn town. Apparently, they don't expect women to do that sort of thing. You know. Engage in sports. Bah.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

I am Garfield

Now I want cake

Bloody big expensive ad

Sometimes even Dubai comes up with good stuff

For the Pause & Play International Film Festival. From JWT Dubai. Not bad. Click on images to enlarge.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

So the question is...

... is the person who found me through iAgora in Illinois the same person who was at the BU International Case Competition?

Everyone is a refugee at the U.S. Consulate

So like, Dubai is nice. It's hot. Averages 32 C. Which is around 102 F for you non-conformists. Lots of fogging up of glasses and dust in the distance. Lovely.

All the air conditioners were serviced the other day. Which involved taking a water pressure thingy to the outside fan units to clean out all the dirty grimy dust. Which looked like a lot of fun. I wanted to do it too. But they didn't let me, those service people, party poopers. So I watched eagerly instead. To also ensure that they didn't make off with the family jewels, of course. Me Mum is convinced that everybody that steps into the house steals a knife or a bra or the screw top cover of the hot fluids cup you keep for your car.

Went to the U.S. Embassy yesterday to get my visa extended which they did rather nicely. I was the last one to be interviewed and was only asked 3 rather mundane questions which I was annoyed about because I'd been there for 3.5 hrs at that point and would have preferred a thorough grilling as to my immigatory intentions to make all the waiting worthwhile. I did take a book, yes, but it got tedious after a while. And no, nobody raised an eyebrow at me for reading a book on Khomeni at the U.S. Consulate so you can calm down, Black Cobra. I was nearly run over by a bunch of very excitable Arab women who seemed to be convinced that fighting their way to the front of the line would guarantee them a visa to the infidel country. I nearly smacked one of them which, funnily enough, elicited laughter from the Nepali security guards. Should've stamped their toes at least. Maybe next time.

Speaking of which, BC, you needs to tell me when you want me to come back stateside so I can book my tickets.

We spend our evenings at RK's house playing snooker. Well, they play snooker. I get snookered. Which means I mostly sit in a corner and giggle. Went to my favorite place, the Fruit and Vegetable Market yesterday and bought 3 boxes of mangoes and one of papayas and one of pomegranates and have been juicing ever since. It's quite entertaining.

Everybody is very excited about the Norwegian Fjord cruise they're going on next month. Pops, unfortunately, has started worrying about the packing. Mind you, there's 40 odd days to go but still. He wants to take Sh. Mo's picture, my degrees and certificates, two large floor standing speakers and lots of warm woolies. I told him that the fjords are not freezing in July but he won't listen. I've told him that you're going to do his packing this time, Black Cobra. Hah.

Tomorrow perhaps I go to the British Embassy to get my UK visa. While I'm at it, I might get a Schengen and one for Mexico and one for Canada as well. Just in case the bug bites me.

Spoke to Artraj yesterday which was fun. Curry is coming down next month but I miss her. The folks at BBDO need to be visited (or do they?). Mahima should be coming down sometime soon.

I've been working on the stamp collection. Making auction lots and cataloging and sorting and all that sort of stuff. It is rather engaging. I recommend it. Also, if you want to purchase some lovely collectible stamps from the Middle East, Asia and/or Europe, let me know. I just might have something you'd like. As you can see from the picture, I have the coveted set (not one, but two!) of 4 of the Jabal Ali Earth Station issued in 1975.

I shall go read Khomeni now. BC, don't forget, the 35th wedding anniversary approaches.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Hand me that tweezer

Anyone know a good website where I can find information on collectible stamps sets? I've got piles of the stuff I need to auction off.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Marhaba fi Dubai!

You know, if you stare at the baggage conveyor belt long enough, all the bags start to look the same. They're either all Samsonite or Delsey and the ones that are neither look like they could be. And they're all black or blue or grey. Ok, there was one red one but it was the only one. And everybody now ties those damn red ribbons on their bag handles to identify their bags faster. Only problem being, of course, that all the bags have red ribbons on them. You would think people would be more creative. And as luck would have it, mine is also one that is black and a Samsonite lookalike.

Next time, I'm buying neon orange bags with blue piping. Because, you know, it takes you all of 3 minutes to get through immigration in Dubai but then you have to wait at least an hour for your bags to get sorted through while you're being shoved around by smelly Bangladeshi laborer types.

Anyhoo. Here I am. Nearly didn't make it since fell asleep at Heathrow and only woke when they were closing the doors to my flight. Managed to slip through. It's 2:30 in the morning. I can't sleep. It's nice to be home. Every time I return home, things look smaller and tables look shorter to me. I wonder if that's because I'm still growing. Mum thankfully said nary a word about my growing which was rather kind of her. Pops was pipped about the hat I got him. Mangoes were eaten. Black Cobra was missed. All in all, the usual homecoming.

I suppose I'll read email now.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

The eagle has landed. The fat man walks alone.

Here's a tip - when faced with a parent, much like my Pops, aiming a leather cleaner bottle nozzle at you to want you to see why it won't squirt, don't stand directly in front of said nozzle with mouth open. Leather cleaner tastes terrible.

Can I just also say, I love American Airlines/Eagle. They're the most helpful people in the business. Open gates for you and all that even when its 10 minutes to takeoff and you show up with two bags to check in. Wonderful wonderful people.

With all the flights I barely make it to, you would think I would leave home earlier to get to the airport. I have, however, never missed a flight yet. Still, shouldn't push my luck I suppose.

Driver's license that was lost has now surfaced magically in Dubai tucked happily away inside Pops' passport. I don't know why. Poor Pops is back home now and sounds plaintively lonely. This trip is all about auctioning off the stamp collection so that should be fun father-daughter bonding experience. Yes, we're both geeks.

Back in Boston now. Leave for Dubai tomorrow for about a month. Got some chores to take care of this afternoon but then I'm pretty much free until tomorrow evening. A little disoriented from the travels but that will change about the 3rd day in Dubai.

Anybody want anything from home?

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Advantage Mid-caps

They didn't want to go out when they woke so I popped off to Tamba to get a box full of desi food while they sat at the table gazing out at the dancing fountains all ruffled in their pjs and robes. Of course, that meant that at 3:30 am we were all wide awake. Well they were awake, I was sleepy but that means diddly squat with you're with the Family. So off we went to explore the Blackjack tables (the Baccarat Bar was closed and we bored of Roulette). Did some shopping the day after. Saw the Steve Wyrick magic show where I put a knitting needle through a pane of glass - very exciting. Pops had his picture taken with the magician which I'm pretty sure was the highlight of his trip. Left Vegas on Saturday for NYC.

Sadly Pops has been tired and sleepy most of the day so we haven't done much (other than clean the kitchen, go out to get groceries, make shawarmas for lunch and watch Kal Ho Na Ho three times - once regular, once with the director's commentary and once again in scenes and pieces. I'd have called the Somster but he's in India trying to hide the fact that he's screamingly gay and living with a man (hai! hai!) in Manhattan. I told him he could marry me and that would take care of both our problems but he is skeptical.

Maybe I'll call the Tran-o-tron and go visit her cats. Or maybe I'll go back to the couch and watch the poker tournament with Pops. I could clean Black Cobra's sty but I'm afraid of wot I'll find under piles of things. Poker is best, methinks.

Lord I need to get back to work. I'm tired of vacationing and I've got more than an entire month left. Ugh, ennui.

Back to Boston on Wednesday with a stop in New Haven.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Viva Las Vegas!

Graduation was exciting. RK and Jean came from London and Pops and Black Cobra drove up from NYC. It rained most of the time. Hotel Commonwealth botched up their suite and the poor things had to be relocated to the horrid Sheraton downtown for one night but at least they sorted it out the next day and had the rooms ready. They were so apologetic that we managed to get the limo I'd been wanting to book but was unavailable so that was nice. The Family did get a little annoying with multiple requests for ham sammiches for which Black Cobra and I had to traipse around in the rain for but it was good of them to come and we did have champagne and the limo and Bombay Club for dinner after so it was all good.

The ceremony was very exciting. I was a bit bummed about getting the wrong color tassel but the folks at the GPO sorted that out. Pins were borrowed because I have an unusually small head and the mortarboard wouldn't sit. The speeches were lacking quite frankly. And Ivers went on and on about donating the gowns for the next graduating class and even though he put in a Scottish bit for me, it was a little boring after a while. The keynote was completely useless. Black Cobra, bless her heart, kept the fun levels up regardless. Drove all the way back to NYC in the rain that night she did, poor thing.

Then to Vegas the next day. United Airways managed to muck about with our flights as well so we were stuck in Philly for 5 hours longer than we wanted to be. Pops kept wanting to go out to smoke which meant that we went in and out of security about 3 times. They looked at us very suspiciously. We sat at the food court and ate chips and did crossword puzzles. It was very boring. Plus the people in Philly are ugly.

Finally reached Vegas and the lovely lovely Bellagio with our standard suite on the 34th ready and inviting. The next day saw some shopping (-$66) and some gambling ($-12k). Went to Gandhi for dinner and the food was appalling which is odd because they're usually quite good. The Strip's changed a bit. Aladdin's been bought out and remodeled as Planet Hollywood and there's lots of construction happening with the new City Center place and condos and wotnot. Bellagio's got the flower spring theme so it's drowning in fresh roses everywhere and so of course I want to take them all and pack 'em in my bag and bring 'em back to Boston with me. We do have a lovely large vase full in the living room. Very nice. I oo and aa in my head all the time. Khan would love it here.

More gambling today (+$2k) and off we go with mine host, Olly, to see The Mansion at the MGM Grand. I may not have mentioned Olly to you before. He's hot. I met him for the first time at the Bellagio's art gallery at the Monet exhibit. I wanted to do him then. He's got a little paunchy after his girlfriend moved in with him and he looks stressed out and is greying at the edges and I still want to do him. Since that won't happen, I'll just dream dirty dreams of him.

So The Mansion is the exclusive, secluded, unknown and unadvertised villas at the MGM. As Olly said when we walked in, "if you don't know about this place, you don't need to know about this place." There was a Ferrari, a Raybach, a few BMWs, two Benzs and two Ducatis parked outside for guest usage. I like to imagine Olly offering to go on a ride with me on the Strip but that could just be another dirty dream. They have 29 villas so very secluded from each other, we must have seen about 2 people there and they were fully booked. There's an indoor atrium about 4 stories high where the temperature is maintained at a constant 75 degrees throughout the year. The pool area is the only area that is open to the outside and also the only area (besides your villa of course) where you can smoke. That's right, Vegas has banned smoking in public places. Go figure. The villas itself come in contemporary skyloft style or old English antique with indoor pools, heated bathroom floors, wireless everything and Steinway pianos. There is a private theatre screening room and conference facility at your disposal as well as a lovely restaurant manned by two award-winning chefs. And they're good too - we had lobster in spicy sauce, chicken kung pao, massive baked prawns, wontons-the-size-of-my-small-head soup and lovely petit fours for lunch. Listening to the sounds of the fountains in the atrium feeling the cool breeze scented with the hint of lemon (they have trees in there with giant lemons). Even the lemonade tasted gourmet with a hint of raspberry and ginger. RK thinks we might stay there next time around. I would like that. You can bring your own personal chef because the villas have fully stocked kitchens and he'd like that. Negi won't like it - there's no tandoor for him and he doesn't speak much English. But that's never stopped us before.

They've all pottered off to sleep now. I think I'll go read my book and look at the fountains from the living room window.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

No Ad Rants for Wolfie

I've recovered enough from the booze-laden madness to check my calendar and realize that I'm supposed to be at the Ad Industry Leadership Conference today. I'm not going, I say defiantly and stick my head back under the covers. They won't miss me. It's not like I have to speak or host or anything.

Crap, do I? I can't remember. Oh well, back to bed.

Good morning, chickiepoos.

Monday, May 14, 2007


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Sunday, May 13, 2007

No. Harvard Street

Ashwin, Khan's friend from Marlborough, popped down for the weekend to take a look at apartments for the summer and we drove around looking at a few. Only thanks to Khan's lovely scatterbrainedness we drove from Boston to Cambridge to get to Allston and then to Downtown to get to Central Square and then we couldn't find Porter's Square seeing as it was the other way on Mass Ave. The kicker, however, was when Khan said we couldn't make a right because the sign said "No. Harvard Street". Mind you, he was perfectly sober. I decided that instead of being my usual anal backseat driver self I would stay silent and let them do wot they do. This was a very bad idea as we spent driving around for 4 hours when it should have taken us 30 minutes.

The boys are going back to Central Square again today. That is if they can find it. Reception at the Dean's house this afternoon which should be highly idon'tknowwot seeing as I seem to be the only one who hasn't zillowed his house and isn't fascinated by the prospect of high tea in a 9-bedroom $4m mansion.

Sorry, yes, slightly bitchy, I know. I have nothing to wear. Somewhere in the madness of it all, I forgot to put my winter clothes away for my summer ones.

I shall watch old Bruce Willis movie now.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Oh fer Pete's sake

The strange thing about being done with finals is that one is besieged with conflicting emotions. On one hand, we're pleased we don't have to study anymore. On the other hand, we're bored out of our minds. Yes, I know it's only been a few days but I can't just sit around with nothing to do.

Wednesday evening celebrations started at Cornwalls (where else), moved on to An Tua Nua with some very bad singing on the karaoke and then back to Cornwalls (where else). I should have bought stock in that place. Didn't drink much since was still a bit hungover from the day before (which would explain the C I get on that final) and pottered on home at 10:30. Did brunch at the diner with Khan on Thursday, bummed around, drank some more. Went for a whisky tasting at the Lenox with Peter and a few others. That was fun. I was ushered into the room by a screamingly gay waiter in pink underwear under his requisition blacks prancing around with a giant white feather. A Chivas Ginger was thrust into my hand, a crab cake into my face and the party was on. Glitter bikini-clad women with giant feathers on their heads popped up and jiggled around much to the delight of all the sad suits and the cabana boys obliged the other sad suits. Can I just say, there's nothing sadder than a 35-yr old investment banker who desperately wants to get laid. Man or woman. I did learn a little bit about whisky and a few very bad Scottish jokes (Why do Scotsmen chop their toes off? To get closer to the bar) and got to sample some 18-yr old Scotch. Very nice. Then Peter and I couldn't take the man in the skirt yelling at DJ Certified Bananas to "pump up the volume, you slimy bastard" anymore and we pottered off to the Hong Kong at Fanueil Hall. On the way out we bumped into Mr. and Mrs. Shaw, freshly arrived from Scotland, a lovely 70-ish year old couple, all wrinkly and kind looking who Peter promptly told to go to Newport, RI and leave the wife at home. After this piece of shocking behaviour we giggled our way to Government Center where at the Hong Kong, more booze was consumed while Pete and Aaron (who runs a belly-dancing supplies shop, how exciting) told me stories of floating down rivers in inner tubes of tractor tires carting about 800 cases of beer. These stories proved too much for me at one point and I insisted we play bar-side games and so we spent a massive fortune in quarters at the nekkid wimmen version of Where's Waldo with self always getting the bits about the chick's hair at which point Aaron deemed me unworthy (since I couldn't spot a boob) and shoved me into a taxicab with a teriyaki on a stick. All in all, a good time was had by all.

Did brunch at the diner with Khan on Friday, scorned the drink, bummed around at Harvard Ave Cafe and finally started reading Jews, God and History (Max Dimont), purchased August 2006 at Denver airport but never had time to open. Interesting book. Very complicated. Khan, bless him, ordered a Vanilla Soy Matte which turned out to be the worst piece of crap I've ever tasted that has been served in a cup with foam. If you are ever faced with it, decline. Do so expeditiously and be not lured by curiosity. It's a horrible drink. Dre had her birthday party here last night and while the upside is that the apartment looks very pretty, cosy and clean, the downside is that people decided that they wanted to pop crackers at 3:30 am INSIDE the apartment. This is because they were stupidly drunk and had to be shepherded outside onto the street where they promptly became Someone Else's problem. Didn't sleep very well last night. Had strange dreams. Lay about, reading, mostly. Still is nice to be in bed swiping one's leg against soft cool sheets, know wot I mean? Khan was mumbling something about how marbles are the fifth dimension but he was in a food coma after having visited that den of vice, India Dhaba, so we forgave him. I did watch Anita and Me yesterday on brilliant NetFlix. Good movie. Nicely done.

I couldn't lie in bed anymore so I've moved to the couch. It's gotten windy, cloudy and 59 degrees suddenly. My wind chime by the window has orchestral aspirations and the curtains billow more often than they did yesterday. I shall sit here now, in my jammies, and read my email and watch Saturday morning cartoons with my cuppa sulaimani. Only two things on the official agenda - Swimming and Giselle at the Boston Ballet. That is if I can get tickets. Although considering the rate at which funds are being depleted from underneath my mattress, I prolly should lay low and cheap until Vegas. Oo, that sounded dirty.

Need more tea.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

There's only so much beer you can drink at 4 pm

IS Strategy exam not over 10 minutes and the troops are headed to Cornwalls for a pint or three. We marched in step too. It was a little disturbing.

Many many MANY pitchers later self staggers home on the train. There's only so much beer you can drink on a sunny afternoon with a final exam the next day. Oi, my head hurts. On the flip side, I am done with the MS part of the MS-MBA. Whoohoo!

Apparently we were so loud in our revelling that the school upstairs complained. Serves them right for opening a school above a pub. Silly idea if you ask me. We did boo and hiss rather loudly when people left and yay-ed when they arrived. Also, I think we heckled 3 passing professors. The cops were very amused. Kaya, Pope's bitch, made a guest appearance and left lots of little dog hairs on my black blouse before she wriggled out of my lap to gnaw on Ken's shoe. Someone took pictures. I remember the flashes. Maybe that was not camera flashes but beer flashes. I can't tell.

Here's a tip - don't tip over backwards in a seat trying to look at a tree upside down. Gives you a helluva head rush. On second thoughts, do.

Ok, slightly tipsy now. Must study. Must study. I want chocolate. Must study. Ooo.. Kahlua!

Aww, I'm gonna miss the madness :(

Sunday, May 06, 2007


The University of Connecticut has notified the Dubai Education Council (DEC) that it has halted plans to establish a satellite campus in Dubai following pressure from pro-Israel politicians and interest groups in protest of the UAE's 'human rights record' and policy towards Israel.

Political science professor Dr Abdul Khaleq Abdullah condemned the move, saying there was no place for politics in academic decisions.

"It's obvious that the ignorance (about Arabs) that prevails among the American public has crept into academics," he said.
Read the full article here.

Also read "UAE need not sit through an inquisition".

So this puts a damper into the American Higher Education's plans to take 12 universities to Dubai as they suggested they could. In case you don't know, that's how I ended up at BU in the first place. Business talks between the Family and the AHE revealed that I hadn't applied to BU and I still have a sneaky suspicion that a little leaning one way resulted in me going to BU and not NYU. Not that I'm complaining mind you (NYU rankings notwithstanding).

But still, this would explain all the shifty-eyed-ness on the part of the AHE during negotiations.

Mega Dubai

Here. Watch a rather long but fairly cool (quality notwithstanding) video of what Dubai's Strageic Plan 2015 will accomplish.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

An awesome chest would make me want a nice rack

I feel the need to go out and buy a mitre saw. I want to stain something mahogany.

This is because I've just watched two back to back episodes of Yankee Workshop on PBS. This Norm chappie has just made a lovely chest of drawers. He did this very complicated thing where he prepared the wood, then he stained it and then he rubbed something on it and then he sponged it off and then he stained it again and after 6 hours he had mahogany.

Oh please don't make me study for finals. Have a heart. Wolfie's bored and so ready to be done with this MBA bizznizz.

Oo! This Old House is next. They're putting St. Augustine sod down around the front of the house.

Can I just say, I love that PBS has no ads in the middle of the program. You! Yes, you! Go contribute to your local PBS station! Don't you want to be more?

Friday, May 04, 2007

One down, three to go

IS Strategy paper written. Three finals next week. Bit bored of working now. Weather is not cooperating by being stupidly wonderful.

What I need is a good pre-finals week date.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

New computer ahoy!

Say hello to Wolfie's new ThinkPad R60 Core 2 Duo with 1GB RAM and 15" of lovely luminescence.

I have a fingerprint sensor *stupid grin*.

So very VERY nice to own a functional computer again. Oh happy days are here again.

3 finals next week.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Courtesy Stanley Bing's Bullshit Jobs book

Download contents of your mind, even when there aren't any.

$$: Relatively small, but prospects for high-paying bullshit job in the future are virtually assured.

The upside: This is one of the bullshit jobs you can do immediately, with no training and no prior experience. You can also become very famous, since the established media, increasingly devoid of excitement and ideas of its own, has taken to siphoning off daily blogging activity as a much better and more interesting alternative to actual news.

The downside: You need a full, daily dose of imagination, guile, bile, and people pouring nonsense into your head that you can repeat.

The dark side: Your skin glows an ethereal white, your eyes become rheumy and bloodshot. Hair erupts in horrendous places. You don't care. You are now nothing but a conduit through which pass all the rare gases of the universe. You are, in short, a blog.

Have gun, will travel

$$: Entry level grunts may begin in the high five and low six figures. If you're a graduate of one of the huge consultant factories that leach humanity out of students and turn them into guns for hire--Wharton, and to a lesser extent, the somewhat squishier Stanford School of Business--you could be making an executive's salary almost immediately.

The upside: It's a pretty easy job, with great travel benefits, nice hotels, drinks on the companies you are soaking.

The downside: Your kids can never explain what you do to their friends.

The dark side: You are a ninja, a samurai, a lone traveler on the road to nowhere. It's a very opulent nowhere if you're good at it. But somewhere in your heart, you want to come in from the cold.