We need to communicate more.

Screw that. Wotever your problem is, I'm sure you'll feel a lot better if you either a)had mad passionate monkey sex, or b)went to the gym and kick-boxed for an hour or three.

The right side of my face is fat. Fatter than usual, I mean. And my throat is starting to hurt. And my eyes are burning. I want my mommy. :(

She'll prolly just yell at me for getting sick.

So like, I was out running errands the other day in the big blue bus (yes, I drive a big blue bus, deal with it) and as I pulled into the complex, I had to stop at the duck crossing for, yes, you guessed it, the ducks to cross. It was funny. This one duck looked at my car, sniffed (I swear it sniffed at me) and then royally waddled across the street. I had to restrain from slamming on the gas and makin' me some duck pate with tire treads but they just looked so snooty. And then there was this cab that was coming the other way and the driver obviously wasn't up on his duck etiquette so he slowed down (reluctantly, I thought) and honked. And the duck just looked at him. And stopped. And stood there in the middle of the street just looking at him. As if to say, "honk at me, willya? Well you'll just have to wait now". And the other ducks tittered amongst themselves. As if to say, "stupid cabbies, they just don't get it". It was funny 'cuz the cabbie actually got annoyed.

Why the long useless duck story? Because I'm sick and I've been watching VH1 all day and my life is, in actuality, this boring.

On another note, I want to see Constantine only because Reeves is such a dish. And yes, I know he's gay. This guy writes well.

Wot a load of crap. It disturbs me that popular culture is getting stupider by the season. "The best reason for one woman to have sex with another woman is because she wants to" - by far THE most intelligent remark I've read on Slate.

And why all the commotion about women anyway? We all know most established institutions are conservative, elitist and sexist. Wot I want to know is why it's even being written about. Why aren't people covering more gallery openings and running more film festivals? And don't give me that "if we bring the issues to light, they will be addressed". Pleaze sista, it hiznasnt happened yet n its not `bout ta stizzay. Too much mollycoddling, that's wot the problem is. Of course we're the weaker sex. We run for the chocolate icecream everytime something goes wrong. You don't see chaps going on shopping sprees because they're depressed because they've broken a nail. Or having a bad day because some jerk cut them off in traffic. Let people cut you off is wot I say. The jerk will get his/her own. He'll be run into by another jerk who ran a red light. The world will be in balance no matter wot. Somewhere someone will suffer for someone making someone suffer. It's karma. You know how people have karma? Well there is one giant cosmic karma that ensures that balance is maintained. So stop yer whining and break a nail once in a while. It won't kill you. You'll get over the pain and the heartache. If not, I'm sure you'll find a support group. Or better yet, maybe Dr. Phil will write a book about it *gag*.