Aao aao Motwani Saheb. Tashreef rakho.

Why is it that whenever the heroine finds out that her love for Anil Kapoor-type people is unrequited, she starts dancing madly? Wot is it about 'fury dances' that makes them so popular? And they're not even good! Just a whole lot of drumming sounds and the woman prancing around in something skintight. Also a lot of here-I-come-on-my-knees-sliding-across-the-floor business. Flashdance wasn't just a movie man, it was a revolution! It was a movement! It inspired women all across the world in the 80s to dance hideously when provoked. Brilliant.

Wotever hppnd to Sridevi? One day she just stopped showing up in phillums. I say we should all rise up in arms and revolt to bring Sridevi back to the big screen. Ten bucks says she was a smoker. Nobody's voice can be that horrible. It's like Rani Mukherjee's voice. And we all know SHE'S a smoker. Ergo.

I can't remember Khuda Gawah. I remember it was mindnumbingly bad. I want to see it again.

In fact, I want to have an old Amitabh Bachchan movie weekend. With lots of booze. And fun company so we can snort about how cheesy The Big B was in the 80s. Who's game?

In other glam sham, did you know the number one reason for the existence of the sub-continental "diaspora" (god, I hate that word) in the United States, Dubai or London is kissing? It's true. Meera's moving. It's a sad sad day when you are ostracized for your art. Innit? INNIT?

Would you check out the lineup in Kamal Haasan's Mumbai Xpress? You can only get this sort of collaboration with your caantacts man.

And I find it very interesting that Salman Khan's movie involves him playing a dance instructor coming to the aid of a pretty white chick. 'Cuz you KNOW he thinks he's all dat and dim sum. Yes. Verrry interesteeng indeeeed.

Do you remember that scene in Ajay Devgan's first movie where his first screen appearance is standing atop two bikes as the riders pull into some college *mad giggling*? Now they're doing washing machine ads.

Speaking of washing machine ads, we never did find out if Mrs. Dubey used to do pressure cooker ads in India.

So Born in Brothels won an Oscar. Very nice. Someone made a movie about children born to sex workers in India. Very humanitarian. The movie was shown in various film festivals and won lots of awards too. It also raised a whole lotta cash and was strangely never shown in India. How much of that cash was given to the subjects is wot I'd like to know. I can go to India and make countless movies about the "plight of the suffering masses". Doesn't really matter if nothing good is going to come of it. Personally, I don't think the lives of children born in Brothels should be used for entertainment value. But hey, that's just my opinion.