You'll never know how the world is going to break down

Which is why you need to have friends. Like Em. Who hold your hand and make jokes.

At the Union trying to study after Nicole the bitch housemate spent the better part of the morning yelling at me. Don't ask.

Somewhere there's a piano playing.

Here. Read how to stay awake in boring presentations.

1. Before (or during) the next class, presentation, or lecture, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block: Synergy, strategic fit, core competencies, best practice, bottom line, revisit, expeditious, to tell you the truth (or "the truth is), 24/7, out of the loop, benchmark, value-added, proactive, win-win, think outside the box, fast track, result-driven, knowledge base, at the end of the day, touch base, mindset, client focus(ed), paradigm, game plan, leverage.

3. Now check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

Now read "Real Testimonials" from satisfied players.

"I had been in the class for only five minutes when I won." - Adam W., Atlanta
"My attention span in class has improved dramatically." - David T., Orlando
"What a gas! Class will never be the same for me after my first win." - Dan J., New York City
"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours. The Bull**** Bingo Championship will be played at the next meeting." - Rod H

Happy playing.