It's going to be alright

Took off early yesterday. Couldn't sit through classes. Don't think I can today either. Called in sick. I need a break. This is taking over my life. Yes, I know this is my life but this is not me. I used to be better at this. They've broken me down and made me reconstruct. Or maybe I did that to myself. Baptism by fire. Only I think I didn't make it through unscathed. Bit singed at the edges if you ask me. All the pieces don't quite fit together like they used to. It was meant to be better but now it's gotten worse. Much worse. I'm like a demon. Only not evil. Wot does that make me? Maybe when I go on vacation I'll deflate. But no, I'm going home for my vacation. It'll be very inflating. Well, maybe when I come back I'll deflate. Walked round and round my room telling myself that it'll be alright. Don't panic. It'll all be alright. That's when it hit me. I'm having a panic attack. I hyperventilated into my closet and sat with my shoes, telling them not to worry, I'd take care of them. I'll take care of everything. I can't. I lied. I lied to the boots and to the pumps. It's ok to fail. It's not my responsibility to make sure everything is perfect. Perfection is not required. Just get the job done. Try and have fun. But you're not having fun are you? You've haven't had an ounce of fun since you got here. Since you started this escapade. Stop it. Don't start panicking again. It's not that bad. It'll fix itself. It has to. The alternative is not an option. I'm not going to lose my mind. It's the only thing I've got left. Everything's going to be alright.