Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Courtesy Stanley Bing's Bullshit Jobs book

Blogger
Download contents of your mind, even when there aren't any.

$$: Relatively small, but prospects for high-paying bullshit job in the future are virtually assured.

The upside: This is one of the bullshit jobs you can do immediately, with no training and no prior experience. You can also become very famous, since the established media, increasingly devoid of excitement and ideas of its own, has taken to siphoning off daily blogging activity as a much better and more interesting alternative to actual news.

The downside: You need a full, daily dose of imagination, guile, bile, and people pouring nonsense into your head that you can repeat.

The dark side: Your skin glows an ethereal white, your eyes become rheumy and bloodshot. Hair erupts in horrendous places. You don't care. You are now nothing but a conduit through which pass all the rare gases of the universe. You are, in short, a blog.

Consultant
Have gun, will travel

$$: Entry level grunts may begin in the high five and low six figures. If you're a graduate of one of the huge consultant factories that leach humanity out of students and turn them into guns for hire--Wharton, and to a lesser extent, the somewhat squishier Stanford School of Business--you could be making an executive's salary almost immediately.

The upside: It's a pretty easy job, with great travel benefits, nice hotels, drinks on the companies you are soaking.

The downside: Your kids can never explain what you do to their friends.

The dark side: You are a ninja, a samurai, a lone traveler on the road to nowhere. It's a very opulent nowhere if you're good at it. But somewhere in your heart, you want to come in from the cold.

2 comments:

Lippy said...

With your brains and my BS, maybe we can team up and get really, really rich?

Wolfe said...

BS will sell only so long. Sooner or later someone is going to wake up and smell the coffee. Then where will we be? Like Vanilla Ice. One hit wonders. No. I refuse. I revolt. I will prevail. I will not fizz like summer romances in autumn.

Of course, we could host a talk show Dr. Phil style and make filthy money. There is always that option.