Silly rabbit. Dreams don't come true.

I'm sorry I left like that. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to stay there feeling sad. I thought if I left and started my day, the sadness would go away. If I left your world that smelt of you. A little musky. Looked like you. A little messy and not all quite there at times. Your world positively rings of you. There's a whistling in the air that lulls me to sleep. Shoulders that cradle my chin. I thought that the sadness would go away if I removed myself from your world. It didn't. I walked into my room and had this overwhelming desire to curl up in the fireplace and evaporate. Maybe then the sadness will go away. It won't. I can't make it. It keeps coming back. My hair, my skin, my lips, my eyes... they all remind me of you. I had to shower to scrub you out of me. I saw you standing there. Looking so lost and a little angry. I had to wait to leave. I didn't want to see you looking lost and a little angry. I didn't want you to see me. But you have to understand. I was incapable. I couldn't do it on my own. For a little while, I couldn't even breathe on my own. I couldn't get out of bed much less face the world. Go about life. I would drown. You weren't meant to let me fall. But then again, you never did say you'd hold me up.

My head won't stop. It won't let it go. We need to let it go. Maybe tomorrow the sadness will go away. Or the day after that. Or the week after that. Or the next year. Or another nine years from now.

Has it been that long already? Why does it still seem like it's happening now? That I'm in the middle of it. At this very point in time. Sitting here in a cool, calm, silent library surrounded by the sound of my own screaming. And those vacant eyes looking up at me. Those eyes cried before they closed. I think they didn't want to. I think that's why they cried. I think that's why I cry too.

It's the wrong time to be thinking like this. Life's too short. Gotta move on. Crying is for wimps.

That's ok. You never did say you'd stay. I shouldn't have asked.