Looking for a replacement

Someone to fill my petite sandals at work. And these are the resumes I get -

Hope my experience suits your requirements and i can associate with you

Looking forward to you for a better joint prospects

Keeping in view the required skills for the mentioned position, I think my self to be the most suitable candidate for the same and thus offer my services.

your job announcement is very attractive. The description of the tasks and requirements overlaps heavily with my former engagements, experiences and interests. Consequently, I have decided to apply for this position after thoroughly analyzing the announcement.

*banging head on desk*