Sunday, December 25, 2005

I knew it wasn't a mistake to come to the airport 4 hours early.


5:43 am - CST
11:45 am Zurich time

I got selected for SPSS again. And we all know what that means. A good feel-up by a hefty woman in uniform. Here's a tip luvvies - don't fly one way, don't buy your ticket at the time of departure and don't pay with cash. Unless of course you want to be felt up by a hefty in uniform.

Boston to NY is a short flight. The chick who checked me in was an imbecile. She couldn't subtract $166.20 from $180.20. That's all I have to say on the subject.

First class check-in is so much nicer than the others. Here's another tip dahlings - when you have no bags to check-in, don't bother standing in coach lines. Mozee on over to the first class counter and brandish your ticket. Those people will be so glad to see someone that is not traveling with 7 overweight bags who won't pay excess that they'll even smile and be polite to you.

Lots of Jewish people on the flight. Wonder why. They're all going to Tel Aviv, that's why!

You know what's the best part about flying? Not the little cheddar snack packets they give you. Not the ineffectual little pillow either. It's the feeling of utter buoyancy you.. er.. feel.. when the plane takes off. When you know that split second when the wheels are no longer on the tarmac. Sometimes, I like to play a little game with myself and try and guess the exact moment when the wheels should fold back in. It's fun. You should try it.

I sneezed when I sat down and the whiny Yiddish nut job sitting next to me started rolling his eyes and complaining about how he's going to get my germs. After I glared at him and blew my nose noisily, he shut up and went back to muttering to himself and pulling his left ear. His friend asked me to switch seats. I gladly agreed and went to sit with a nice chap who was en route to Nuremburg. When I told him that I had never been there, he seemed surprised. Should I have been there? Is everybody going to Nuremburg? Did I miss out on this new Nuremburg fad?

Zurich airport is nice. Very high ceilings. Wide open spaces and all. Very.. Ikea.. even. They have fully portable passport check stands on wheels in a cordoned-off area in the middle. It's a little confusing as to who's s'posed to go through that as there are no signs. So I stood in it anyway, just for kicks, even though my flight isn't for another 2 hours. So when it was my turn, the chap asked me why I wanted to go to Tel Aviv. I told him because the weather there this time of year was supposed to nice and I hear good things about their baked goods. He was not amused. He was also not amused by the fact that my boarding pass is for Dubai and not Tel Aviv.

There's a lady sitting next to me who's crying because her Dad is dying.

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